So, yes, it is another Tuesday.

But I have to say that this Tuesday was different from all other Tuesdays so far this semester. Granted, there has only been three total, but this one has been... mentally exhausting.

I guess I should start off by saying:

HAPPY FAT TUESDAY EVERYONE!

I'll come back to the whole religion thing later. 

So, I don't think that I will every get over the class from 8:00 AM - 9:30 PM every Tuesday. Thank goodness I don't have luau practice, because I might've had to take something to get through my day. 

But I got through my lab painfree.

Then I had to go to my Community Stories class. I had to share a story today because I didn't get a chance to share one last week. And I wanted to lie. I am one of the best liars I know, and I didn't want to have to expose my soul to these people. Not just yet. 

But I couldn't lie.

Not today. So I told a story about my cousin and how I wondered if she was happy. Which led to my voice cracking and saying that I wasn't sure if I was happy.

I nearly cried, but without the waterworks. And I couldn't stop. And I hated it because I didn't want to sound so emo and vulnerable in front of these people.

But easily enough, I smiled and tried to play it off.

Damn, the walls I have are so freaking high.

So, I realized the reason that I was such a brat last week was because it was that time of the month. YAY FOR PREDICTABILITY OF MY FEMALENESS.

Boo on the fact that now I have to do damage control on my brattiness.

Great.

Another thing for me to feel guilty about.

So, one of my friends (Friend A) told me that another one of our friends (Friend B) said that I don't invite him out anymore. So, when I heard that I ended up feeling really guilty. I have a really big guilt process, and when I feel like I do something wrong, sometimes I can get really sick over it. So, my thing is that, I want to know when I have gone out and not invited him. Like weekend wise, for the past two weekends, I've been sick so I haven't gone out.

If he was talking about this past Saturday when I went on an epic adventure, it wasn't my adventure to invite people to. I don't know if he knew that. And even though I still feel like I'm justifying this, I'm really feeling guilty over it...

*SIGH*

Okay, so today is Fat Tuesday, which means tomorrow is Ash Wednesday. Which means the start of Lent, and now I have to give something up. Or change something about myself to become a better Christian.

Here is my list so far.

Stop swearing.
Buy 1 DVD per month
Have a positive outlook
Do not procrastinate
Thank God at least once a day
Patience

But I'm already being bothered by this whole thing.

Well, I changed my status on facebook to invite anyone to come with me to Mass. I did this not really thinking that people would come out of the woodworks to want to come with me. I thought that it would only be the people that I've gone to Mass with before.

But a lot of people were calling me for times and everything.

And I started to wonder how many of these people were sincere. I mean, a lot of the people haven't gone to church all year. And I know that Ash Wednesday is one of the holy days of obligation, but is that all it is to these people? An obligation?

I mean, I get up every Sunday morning and go to church. I walk, or I catch a ride. I even go alone. And I'm a senior in college so it isn't like I'm not busy. But I try to take the time to go to church every Sunday. God gave me a lot, the least I can do is give him an hour or two of my time a week.

I guess I just want to know what everyone's intentions are that is going who hasn't gone in awhile. Are they going because they want to go? Or are they going because all of their friends are going?

I'm thinking too much. And I don't know if it's bothering me or not. 

Cause for a smile:

I finished reading Robinson Crusoe today. I'm not quite sure if I completely grasped the concept of the book because I was more concerned about Friday and Crusoe's relationship than anything else. I think that I was missing the point. But it's how I read. I need to become invested in a character for me to be able to continue reading a book. 

I have a list taped right above my light switch in my room. From where I am lying down, I can see that there are 22 items on that list. I've crossed off half of one. 

But I'm tired.

I didn't get to nap today, and I want to sleep so I have the energy to conquer the world tomorrow. Or at least a few items on my list.

So long and goodnight. 

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

Again, another usual Sunday. Went to church. And then went to luau practice.

I love how my weekends don't really feel like weekends anymore.

I guess more explanation later.

I'm too tired.
Cause for a smile:

I made my flight to go down to California for Spring Break!

One step closer to the most epic Spring Break ever!

Now it's sleep time.

Good night.

So, I didn't get much sleep last night. This is the second time this semester that it's happened. I'm trying to figure out why.

And I think it's because I was irritated, but mostly because I was overthinking something. The worst part is that it was so miniscule that it shouldn't have bothered me.

So, I figured that I should tell you.

So, the dance I'm teaching for the luau at our school has a cap of 40 dancers. I have around forty-eight dancers right now. So that means that I have to cut the remaining.

And I don't know what to do! I really don't like being mean like that. And it's understandable. If I could, I would keep all forty-eight, but it isn't possible space wise...

GRRR

It's all right though. I hope to figure it out.

And I've only had one official practice, so I have a week or two.

Today was the first day of the Winter Olympics.

I guess that it is overshadowed by the death of one of the lugers today. RIP. I'm glad that they had a few moments of silence to honor him.

What really got to me was that we're the same age...

At least he was able to accomplish something as great as making it to the Olympics.

Cause for a smile:

The opening ceremony to the Olympics was beautiful. 

I'm slowly getting over my sickness. I just have to pretty much get rid of all the mucus in me that isn't necessary for my survival.

Since I didn't get much sleep last night, I had a glorious nap. I woke up thinking that I had slept through the night. In reality, my nap was only three hours long...

But it was amazing.

And now I cans stay up and write and watch a movie...

YAY!

Cause for a smile:

So, I went to sleep at midnight last night, and I woke up for class today full of energy.

Seven hours of sleep.

I needed it after going from nine hours to six hours. 

I feel myself getting better.

But everything still has the sick taste in my mouth and I'm hacking up a lot of mucus. It's better than having it in me, right?

But I need to go shower after sweating from luau practice.

Then finish homework.

And then I can finally go to sleep.

I'm hoping to get over this sickness by the weekend.

By the way, this okay icon at the bottom, isn't really the okay I'm wanting. It looks more content. When I say okay, I mean better than I have in the past few days.

Title: Loose Lips and Sinking Ships
Author: DauntPerplexity
Rating: PG
Genre and/or Pairing: Dean, Sam, Castiel, friendship, Dean/Castiel pre-slash if you want to look that deep
Spoilers: Post 5x13
Warnings: None
Word Count: 1563
Summary: Sometimes, when Sam drank, he made all the sense in the world.
Author's Note: Just a scene I think could've happened after 5x13. Something about the episode wouldn't leave me alone. This is supposed to be just friend ship, you know... TEAM FREE WILL. But I guess it can be seen as pre-slash if you want to see it that way. I also own nothing besides the idea behind this story. 

( “You want to know something, Dean?” Sam spat out after slamming his shot glass onto the table. )

So, yesterday, when I said I thought I was getting better, I was wrong. I actually feel a lot worse today. Yay for me...

But not really.

I have that sickness taste in my mouth. It's so gross.

But I'm getting enough sleep and drinking enough orange juice and cranberry juice. And all that stuff.

So, I'm pretty sure that it's that time of the month soon because I'm really irritated with one of my friends. Like, it's really bad. I hope that I get over it soon. 

Cause for a smile:

Okay, first of all, I must say that I bought my graduation Cap and Gown today!!! Yes, those are my school colors. It's a little gross because our tassels are yellow. Blah...

But now I have two weeks for announcements and one more to make my decision if I want a class ring...

Played Rockband with a friend that I haven't seen for awhile. Good times. Then took the greatest nap ever!!!

I had luau practice today. Learned the first verses to two of my songs. I'm so excited. It's going to be amazing.

But I need to go now because I have to finish reading Robinson Crusoe. BLAH. Way to put it off until the last day...

So, I went to sleep at about four o'clock this morning because I had a huge bout of inspiration at midnight and had to finish writing a story. I hate that if I'm in a mode, no matter how tired I get, I still have to finish it.

It blows when I sleep at four and wake up at eight. Especially since I'm sick.

I need my sleep. 

So, today, my friend told me that he broke up with his girlfriend. He sounded so sad, and I hated that I really couldn't do anything about it. So, we cooked. It was his form of therapy. 

He felt better after we made dinner. 

Cause for a smile:

Technically, I finished a story this morning. LIke really early this morning. I was really surprised at myself, but really happy that it happened. 

Also, I've been having a huge craving today for stuffed mushrooms and we totally made it. 

But I'm still sickly, so sad days.

I really need to get to sleep.

Goodnight.

I think I'm getting sick.

I woke up this morning with a sore throat, and it only got worse throughout the day.

So, today I found out that the guy that I liked last year transferred schools and has a girlfriend. I was surprised, but that was about it. It lasted for a minute. My friend said that I was sad, but honestly, I wasn't. 

I mean, I should've been more upset about it, right? I liked him a lot last year. 

I guess just not enough...

Cause for a smile:

So, I made a list of things to do and I marked off at least half of them today. That was pretty darn exciting.

Also, a bunch of my friends came over to watch TV. We do it once a week, and it's exciting.

I should be getting to sleep so I can get over whatever sickness I have.

Goodnight.

And sorry this entry is so short.

My first episode review ever. But this isn't really a review, more of like an epic squee!

5x13

( So, I'm pretty sure this episode was pure greatness. )

So today was supposed to be my long day in class, but it actually turned out to be pretty easy. I had lab in the morning, then I had an eight hour break, where I took a nap, then I had a night class. 

Usually, the night class is supposed to go to 9:25 at night, but we got out more than an hour early. How great is that?

I'm beginning to like this semester a lot.

And I say that now... but wait, as the semester progresses, I'll slowly lose my mind.

Cause for a smile:

I got out of lab early today. LOVE IT!!!

Also, when I was walking to my night class, I saw two people randomly dancing as they walked back it was hilarious because they didn't care who was watching them.

I wish more people were like that.

I guess I should get to sleep now. Have to wake up at eight tomorrow morning. Yay...

But not really.