Rewriting Herstory

Cause for a smile:

I went to a lacrosse game today. Our girls won 15-10. I saw two of my really good friends score. It was exciting.

I also went to a baseball game today. We lost. But I got to see one of my friends get an RBI. As you can tell, I'm not really familiar with baseball terminology. I'm okay with looking like a total goof. 

I got eight hours of sleep last night, and today I felt as though I could conquer the world.

The whole lockdown situation hasn't actually been as effective as I thought it would be. But I do have a few more days. I just have to buckle down. 

I am actually tired right now, so I should be getting to sleep soon. But I have to proofread a story that I'm sending in that is due tomorrow, so I'm staying up a little while longer to do that. 

So, I found myself smiling a lot today. It's because I kept thinking about this guy that I was flirting with last night at the concert. He's a cutie. But I found out today that he was Catholic.

Now, it's not a determining factor in my relationships, but I just thought that it was funny that the last four guys that I've liked, I found out they were Catholic eventually. It's funny because in my first two years at college, I knew a whole one Catholic boy, and now I feel like there are so many.

But I should go.

I have stuff to do before I have to go to sleep.

Who, or what, is the greatest love of your life? Is it a person? Is it a creative pursuit, involving music, writing, cooking, or art? Is it a passion, like food, film, or travel? How has it shaped your life?

That is the question that was on our Writer's Block for LJ. And I felt that it was a question that I wanted to answer.

I have to say that I have many loves of my life. First, my family. Because without them, I don't know what I'd do. They are my strength, my focus, my support. They are my everything. 

If it is a creative pursuit, I have to say that it's writing. Sometimes I feel like it's the only thing that is keeping me sane. I write every day. Sometimes it isn't a good thing because it easily becomes a distraction. But that has to mean something, right?

I think that both of these are my passions and they have helped to shape my life. I do everything for my family and with them in mind. Writing has shaped my life because I look at things differently to help my writing. Simple things like watching people, or noticing the small details helps. 

Community Stories:

I figured that I could start a small section for this class so it's easier for me to write about.

So, today, we had to choose goddesses or attributes of goddesses that we would like to embody.

So, first I looked in a book for my birthday and my goddess was Voluspa. She is an Icelandic goddess, I think. Her themes are:

Foresight, History, Perceptive, Divination, and Time.

But what intrigued me the most about her was her symbols. Her symbols were stories or storybooks. I really had to laugh at that a little.

Then I reached into a deck of cards that had goddesses on each one of them. The one that I chose was Selene. The first thing that I saw was this picture:
And honestly, my jaw dropped. I thought that this picture was gorgeous. So, I really like feathers and wings, and that was one of the first things that drew me to this picture. Then I flipped it over and this is what it said:

Selene, queen of the Starlit Heavens, is the the ancient Greek goddess of the moon. She carries the moon across the sky in a white chariot driven by winged horses or bulls. She is the totality of the moon, with its waxing into fullness and waning into darkness. Selene fell in love with a mortal, Endymion. When she descended to the earth to join Endymion, he fell into a deep sleep from which he never awoke. Selene continued to visit him nightly.

In later Greek mythology Selene represented the full moon, while Artemis represented the crescent or waxing moon and Hecate the waning and dark moon; hence Selene is Phoebe, meaning "bright, shining." She is traditionally represented with the crescent moon as a diadem. Selene represents the fullness of life, incorporating all phases of light and darkness in her shining.

I really took this goddess to heart. First, because I love the night. I feel more at calm at night than I do during the day. I focus a lot better at night. Most of my writing comes at night. My thoughts make sense, you know?

Then it said that she fell in love with a mortal. For a goddess to fall in love with a human... the love that she had to feel for him. I could relate, because I am like that. I fall deeply, and passionately.

Then it said that it mean bright and shining. And fullness of life and incorporating the phases of light and darkness with her. I love that because I am not always a happy person, but I try to be. I have been told often that I am always so full of life.

I have to believe that this card was fate.

Other qualities that I would want to embody for my goddess...

I said that I just needed a positive attitude and to work to better myself as a person. It helps because it is Lent and I'm working to become a better Christian and trying to bring myself closer to God. 

I have to say that I feel a lot better because of this attitude. I feel so much lighter.

I am at peace.

Cause for a smile:

I'm trying to take care of myself. I feel that if I can take care of myself, then I will be able to take care of other people better.

So, I finally got a nap today after two days of not napping. It was amazing.

I felt so refreshed after I woke up.

And now, since it's night... I feel like I can get something done.

Maybe I can mark off more things off of my list of things to day.

Yeah, I'll do that...

So, I went to sleep at about four o'clock this morning because I had a huge bout of inspiration at midnight and had to finish writing a story. I hate that if I'm in a mode, no matter how tired I get, I still have to finish it.

It blows when I sleep at four and wake up at eight. Especially since I'm sick.

I need my sleep. 

So, today, my friend told me that he broke up with his girlfriend. He sounded so sad, and I hated that I really couldn't do anything about it. So, we cooked. It was his form of therapy. 

He felt better after we made dinner. 

Cause for a smile:

Technically, I finished a story this morning. LIke really early this morning. I was really surprised at myself, but really happy that it happened. 

Also, I've been having a huge craving today for stuffed mushrooms and we totally made it. 

But I'm still sickly, so sad days.

I really need to get to sleep.

Goodnight.

So, last night, I had a really weird dream about a dress, I think. There might have been something about it not fitting. But I think that I was a spy, or someone was after me. And I had to make it to a football game. Hmmm...

I decided to share this because it's the first dream that I've remembered in a while and I thought that I'd share it with you. 

I mean, lately, I've been waking up, then going back to sleep. Usually when I do, I have a really vivid dream, and most of the time I remember it. I wonder why that is.

I think that my sleeping patterns have been funky because I've been staying up until at least three o'clock every night writing.

Here, I thought that I was going to be getting a lot more sleep since I don't have class yet.

I WAS WRONG!!!

I just got out of a hot shower to sooth my aching muscles. You remember yesterday when I said that I was going to wake up with bruises? Well, there aren't any new bruises, but my left side was pained today. 

Luckily there wasn't open gym today. Because I probably would've gone and ended up sporting a lot more bruises.

Cause for a smile:

So, today I played Rockband. With my friend. Haven't played in awhile. Started off a little rusty, but I got into the groove quickly.

And there was the premiere of America's Best Dance Crew (ABDC). I love watching dancing. But I'm just anxious to see all the final crews because I want to be 5 for 5 in calling the winner after the first episode.

And finally, this made me smile...


Seriously... try not smiling while watching this...

So, for the past few days, I've been getting used to waking up at about nine o'clock, taking a pee, getting back into bed, then going back to sleep.

What actually has been happening the past few days is that I wake up at about 11 to a phone call from my mom. The conversation usually goes like this.

She asks if I'm sleeping.
I lie and say no because I see her name on my caller ID and know she is going to ask it and try to wake up in half a second.
She asks me why I'm still sleeping.
I tell her that I'm awake and it doesn't matter because I don't have class.
She says okay.

Today it was an unexpected call. She told me that someone died. It wasn't just anyone. He a senior when I was in the junior high. Our junior high and senior high school was on the same campus. Our paths crossed a few times. I played on the same soccer team with his sister. He had an aneurysm.

I guess that I was affected by it because it was the first thing I was greeted with in the morning. And then my mom said that he was 26. Life is so freaking short. I couldn't believe it. I didn't know what to say. 

He was 26 years old, and he died of an aneurysm. 

Then, later today, one of my best friends told me that my teacher passed away. 

She was my English Honors teacher in high school. To quote one of my best friends, "She had a major impact on our writing."

She helped me realized that I was okay at writing and English. Because of her, she put me on a path to English. If I accomplish or contemplate an English Literature or Writing major more, then it'll be because of her.

She was patient. She was able to put up with our classes' antics when we would try to distract her by setting off timers and trying to avoid tests. But because of her, I ended up liking Shakespeare. I remember that I got a perfect grade on a test where all I wrote on an essay was one sentence. I laughed, but I was the only person to get a 100 on that test. 

We may have done a lot of stupid things in her class, but I learned a lot.

I carry a lot of it with me now.

Two deaths today...

Cause for a smile:

So, today, I went to play volleyball. I haven't gone to play for a little more than a week, so I was tired at first. But like always, I just had to get over the initial tiredness, then I was good. I had some good digs, and it was fun just playing with bunch of people.

I know that I'm going to have bruises tomorrow because for one play, I feel like my body contorted like a pretzel.

But I got out all of the energy that I had since I drank a lot of coffee and tea today. 

And now I'm exhausted.

The caffeine, then the crash.

Well, I think that I'm actually going to start cleaning our place tomorrow. I bought some cleaning supplies because our bathroom and kitchen is filthy.

I should get some sleep.

But I probably won't.

I'm probably going to be up for a few more hours writing.

I'm not complaining.

I wish that I actually did something today so that I could write something worth reading. But nothing happened.

I woke up at 8:00 am because my roommate was playing Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 last night, and he forgot to turn off the TV. I can sense white noise, so I woke up, turned it off, then stayed up because I couldn't fall asleep for a few hours.

When I finally did, my mom woke me up, calling me to tell me she was buying something at a sale. I can't really remember the conversation, because when I wake up, I need a 20 minute passing period, or I don't really make sense or understand what is going on.

I realized today that I'm a little a lot  spoiled when it comes to my friends. Because today, I told my friend that I was hungry, and he totally ran back to his room and grabbed beef and cooked teriyaki beef for us.

I have amazing friends. 

Cause for a smile:

I went to my school's basketball game today. We lost. But it was nice to get out of the house.

I did actually break 40 pages today on my story. Still not done yet though.

I'm waiting for my prompts for this writing exchange that I'm participating in for the first time. The anticipation is killing me. I just want my prompts so I can begin writing since I have all the time in the world.

I actually need to go to sleep soon because I have to wake up for church tomorrow morning. It's pretty cool because one of my good friends is coming with me. I don't have to walk alone!!! And it will be the first time he's gone to church with me in two years.

Yay for friendship bonding time!

Today was a very simple day.

I went to church and Father had a good homily about change. The gospel was the story about Jesus changing water into wine. He also spoke about how we must change and other stuff that I can't remember at the moment. There was also something about mothers. 

After I woke up I played volleyball for two hours. 

I love lazy day Sundays.

Cause for a smile:

I slept until four in the afternoon. Then again, it didn't really count because I did wake up for church in the morning. But it was great.

Also, tomorrow there is no school so I just get to write. I am excited. I really want to write a story that I feel like I need to tell. 

So, I'm going to get started on it.

HAPPY 14TH BIRTHDAY TO MY COUSIN, KSC!

I'm sorry I couldn't be there to celebrate with you and the family, love. But I hope that you had a good one.

So, I've come to the realization that I really really really dislike texting. I mean, I was okay when we didn't have texting in our cell phone plan because I honestly enjoy talking to people on the phone and hearing their voices. I don't use my minutes anyway.

But the real reason that I dislike texting so much is because my little brother. He finally got a cell phone and learned how to text. But now, he texts me now instead of calls me every night. I'm restricted to reading instead of listening. I miss the sound of his voice. I know it's sad, and a little pathetic on my part, but it's true. 

IT SUCKS!

But what can I do?

I have a really nice bruise on my knee from hula and volleyball yesterday. It's about the size of two quarters put next to each other. A nice shade of red, purple, and greenish-blue.

I watched American Idol today. It was the first episode, so there were a bunch of auditions. I got some good laughs while watching with my friend CS. As bad as some auditions were, I had to change the channel because I can't stand to watch people make a fool out of themselves.

But I also got to thinking. There were people there auditions that were 16 years old and they were really talented. I wondered what I was good at when I was 16. For a second, I felt like I hadn't really accomplished anything. But then I realized that a lot of those people were either desperate, or just following their 'dreams'. But what if they were in for a rude awakening?

The fear is always there.

Am I brave enough to go after that dream.

I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. Writer? Pharmacist? (See what I put down first?) But it's hard. Motivation is needed.

I just need to think about it... 

Cause for a smile:

I have some inspiration to write. I mean, I'm trying to hold it off for awhile so that I can get through my week of class and just write for two weeks, but it's hard. I actually skipped volleyball today because I was inspired. It's been happening a lot more recently, and I'm not sure if it's a good or a bad thing.

Good because I love to write.

Bad because it can easily distract me from school and other things.

*Sigh*

I guess I should get back to brainstorming a story and hope that it will hold me off until Friday.