Fic: Unraveling (Part 9)
Dec. 11th, 2011 11:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dauntperplexity[Masterlist] [Part 8]
Dean stepped into Cas’s room and stared at him lying in his bed. At that moment, he could see the similarities between Cas and Castiel. He could see the similar features of their faces. Especially when Cas wasn’t wearing his glasses. And he couldn’t ignore Cas’s messy hair. Dean had to wonder if he flew home.
From physical features alone, he could not believe that he didn’t realize Cas and Dark Angel were the same person. He shook his head and took a step toward the bed.
“Cas?” he whispered. The anxiety he was feeling was worse than when he went to visit him in the hospital. It hurt Dean’s head to try and put the two people together.
Cas stirred in his bed. He brought a hand up and wiped his eyes. He looked up and saw Dean standing over him. “Hello, Dean.”
“I’m sorry I woke you up.”
“Do you need help with something?”
“This doesn’t have to do with work, Cas.”
“Then what…” his voice trailed off. He stared at Dean, trying to read the emotions on his face. He couldn’t pick just one. Dozens of emotions splayed across Dean’s face at the moment.
“Cas,” Dean whispered. He sounded like it hurt his throat to say it.
“I’m sorry,” Cas whispered. Dean hadn’t even said anything, but the look on his face made him feel like he should have been apologizing for something.
“Why are you apologizing?” Dean asked. He was nervous that Cas was able to read his mind or something and knew what he was going to say. It made this whole situation a little easier if he could. The less he needed to talk, the better it would go.
“I don’t know. You’re here. You’re upset. I feel like I did something wrong.”
“Cas. It’s not—”
“What’s wrong?”
That was the opening that Dean needed. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the metal wrapped in his shirt. He held it out in his palm and unwrapped it. “Are you…” his voice trailed off, unable to ask the question. “I didn’t mean to snoop,” he said. “I swear. I just needed Post-its. And you usually just let me take a couple. But I had to look through your desk and I saw it. And I swear I didn’t mean to go through your stuff, Castiel.”
Cas flinched like he had been slapped at Dean calling him his real name without him wearing the mask. “Please, don’t call me that.” That hurt him more than Dean going through his belongings.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” Cas replied. His hand unconsciously went to the wound and he covered it. “It was dumb of me to bring it to work. But I woke up with it in my hand, and I had to get to work. And—”
“Cas, why didn’t you tell me?” Dean tried not to sound so hurt, but it didn’t work. He was hurt. His coworker, his friend, had kept a secret as big as that from him. “I’m sorry,” Dean quickly said when he realized how selfish he sounded. “That’s ridiculous. It’s not my business. I had no right.” He walked over to Cas’s bedside and set his shirt and the shard down on the nightstand.
“It wasn’t important,” Cas calmly answered.
“Wasn’t important? Like knowing you have a sister wasn’t important? Cas, you’re a superhero.” He was angry and he had no idea why.
“I’m not, Dean. That’s just what everyone calls me. I’m just someone who wants to make the world a better place and I’ve been give extra tools to be able to do that.”
“Way to sell yourself short, Cas,” he had no idea why he was being so gruff with Cas.
“You’d do the same thing in my position.”
“But I’m not. All this time…”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“No,” Dean said loud enough that Cas jumped. “Don’t apologize about that. I have no right to know about this big of a secret.”
“But you know now.”
“Yeah.” Dean brought a hand up to the bridge of is nose. He sighed as he tried to massage the tension out of his head. “This is too much, Cas.”
“I’m sorry. I can… I…”
He dropped his hand and stared at Cas. “What, Cas? What can you do?”
“Dean?” Cas said, slowly trying to sit up on the bed.
Dean resisted the urge to step forward and help Cas move into the position he wanted. He knew that Cas wanted to do this for himself. He stood by and watched only deciding to help if Cas really needed it.
He waited for Cas to get into a sitting position before he spoke. Once Cas was in a upright, Dean stepped forward and put his hands under Cas’s armpits. He picked him up and helped him to sit against the headboard. When it didn’t look like Cas was going to topple over, he stepped back. He crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m not okay with the fact that you risked your life for me.”
Cas rested his hands on his lap. “Dean, you aren’t blaming yourself, are you?”
“How can I not?”
“Dean, don’t do that. Please,” he begged. “This had nothing to do with you.”
“But it’s true. This whole thing happened because you saved my life.”
“No, the whole situation was because those men were trying to kill me.”
“But they used me as bait,” Dean yelled. He didn’t know when it happened, but when he brought a hand up to his face, he found that his cheeks wet.
Cas wanted to say something, but he wasn’t sure if he had the right words to make Dean feel better. “Dean, I…”
Dean ran his hands down his face, drying it as best as he could. “I… I need a glass of water.” He needed to leave the room for a second. He was getting too emotional and he knew that he’d end up saying something he didn’t mean in the heat of the moment.
“Help yourself. You know where everything is, right?”
“Yeah,” Dean said and walked out of the room.
Not even ten seconds later, Jo was in his room. She stared at her brother and shook his head. “He knows,” she said. “What are you going to do?”
Cas kept his eyes on his lap. He couldn’t look at his sister just yet. “I don’t know.” It was a lot to take in. He never realized that Dean would figure it out. He was always so careful. And he was surprised that Jo wasn’t angrier about the situation.
Jo walked over to Cas’s bed and sat on the edge of it. She put a hand on her brother’s knee. “I think you should erase his memories.”
The suggestion was enough to make Cas raise his eyes. “You think so?”
“Yeah,” Jo replied. “It keeps him safe. You won’t have to worry about him exposing your secret.”
“He would never do that,” Cas said. “Not willingly.”
“Cas. You aren’t ready for him to know. Just erase his memories. If he figures it out later, maybe then he can keep them.”
“I don’t know if that’s the smartest thing for me to do, Jo,” Cas said.
“Cas, this isn’t like telling him that you have a secret daughter or wife. You’re Dark Angel. His job is to take pictures of you.”
Cas looked at his lap again and shook his head. “But I trust him.”
“I know you do, Cas. But do you want to burden him with something like this?” As soon as she said those words, she wanted to take them back.
Cas looked up and stared into his sister’s eyes. He knew it was hard for his family to keep his secret, but they never talked about it. Not like this. Until now. “Jo.”
“I didn’t mean that your secret burdens our family, Cas—”
“No,” Cas whispered to interrupt his sister as politely as he could. He didn’t want her to apologize. He knew what she was trying to say, even if it was a bad choice of words. “All right. I’ll do it when I feel better. I’m too weak right now to use my powers.”
“Really?” Jo asked. She had never seen her brother this injured.
“From my escape from the hospital to flying to work. I feel like I’m not going to be at full power for a couple of days. Maybe weeks.”
Jo leaned forward and kissed her brother on the forehead like their mother used to do to them. “You’ll be fine.”
“I know. Eventually. But right now, I need to talk to Dean.”
Jo let out an exasperated sigh. “Lucas.” She didn’t want her brother to have to deal with all of this when he was still healing. And even moreso, she didn’t want Cas moving around a lot and risk tearing his stitches.
“Can you help me out of bed?” he asked, ignoring Jo’s glares at him.
Jo sighed when she saw Cas swing his legs off the bed. She knew that he was stubborn and he’d get out of bed with or without her help. “Yeah,” she said. She sat on the bed next to him and put one of his arms over her shoulders. “Whenever you’re ready,” she replied.
Cas took his time standing up and Jo was there the entire time, helping him up. As soon as they got to their feet, they had to wait for Cas to stop shaking and to catch his breath.
Jo wrapped her arm around Cas’s back and tightened her hold.
“Jo,” he whispered when he felt Jo’s grip.
“Sorry,” Jo whispered. “This isn’t a good idea, Cas. If you want to talk to him, I’ll just tell him to come in here.”
“No,” Cas whispered. “I’m okay. Let’s go,” he said when his heart stopped racing.
Step by step, they made their way down the hall and into the living room. They found Dean out on the balcony. “I’m surprised he didn’t bolt out of here as soon as you told him.”
“You greatly underestimate him,” Cas replied.
“I guess I don’t know him as well as you do.”
“He’s a good person, Jo.”
“I never said he wasn’t. I just don’t know him enough to trust him like you do.”
“You can trust him.”
“Yeah, we’ll see,” Jo replied.
They were halfway between the hallway and balcony when Dean turned around. He saw Jo helping Cas and ran over to help them. He stood on the other side of Cas and put his arm around his shoulders. He wrapped his arm around Cas’s back, his arm brushing Jo’s. “Where are you guys going?” Dean asked.
“Balcony,” Cas replied.
“Why?”
The Singer siblings ignored him and kept moving toward their destination. They got to the balcony and Cas removed his arms from their shoulders. He waited for the Dean and Jo to let go of him before he made his way to the railing.
Jo stepped behind her brother and put a hand on the small of his back. “Will you be all right out here?”
“Yes, Jo.”
“Okay. I have to go out for a little bit.”
“I’ll be fine, Joanna.”
“I’ll make sure nothing happens to him,” Dean said. When Jo nodded, he counted it as a victory that Jo trusted him enough to look after Cas. And she didn’t yell at him.
The two men leaned against the railing of the building, looking out into the city. They had done this many times on the roof of their work building, but this time was different. And they both knew that it wouldn’t be the same ever again.
[Part 10]
Dean stepped into Cas’s room and stared at him lying in his bed. At that moment, he could see the similarities between Cas and Castiel. He could see the similar features of their faces. Especially when Cas wasn’t wearing his glasses. And he couldn’t ignore Cas’s messy hair. Dean had to wonder if he flew home.
From physical features alone, he could not believe that he didn’t realize Cas and Dark Angel were the same person. He shook his head and took a step toward the bed.
“Cas?” he whispered. The anxiety he was feeling was worse than when he went to visit him in the hospital. It hurt Dean’s head to try and put the two people together.
Cas stirred in his bed. He brought a hand up and wiped his eyes. He looked up and saw Dean standing over him. “Hello, Dean.”
“I’m sorry I woke you up.”
“Do you need help with something?”
“This doesn’t have to do with work, Cas.”
“Then what…” his voice trailed off. He stared at Dean, trying to read the emotions on his face. He couldn’t pick just one. Dozens of emotions splayed across Dean’s face at the moment.
“Cas,” Dean whispered. He sounded like it hurt his throat to say it.
“I’m sorry,” Cas whispered. Dean hadn’t even said anything, but the look on his face made him feel like he should have been apologizing for something.
“Why are you apologizing?” Dean asked. He was nervous that Cas was able to read his mind or something and knew what he was going to say. It made this whole situation a little easier if he could. The less he needed to talk, the better it would go.
“I don’t know. You’re here. You’re upset. I feel like I did something wrong.”
“Cas. It’s not—”
“What’s wrong?”
That was the opening that Dean needed. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the metal wrapped in his shirt. He held it out in his palm and unwrapped it. “Are you…” his voice trailed off, unable to ask the question. “I didn’t mean to snoop,” he said. “I swear. I just needed Post-its. And you usually just let me take a couple. But I had to look through your desk and I saw it. And I swear I didn’t mean to go through your stuff, Castiel.”
Cas flinched like he had been slapped at Dean calling him his real name without him wearing the mask. “Please, don’t call me that.” That hurt him more than Dean going through his belongings.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” Cas replied. His hand unconsciously went to the wound and he covered it. “It was dumb of me to bring it to work. But I woke up with it in my hand, and I had to get to work. And—”
“Cas, why didn’t you tell me?” Dean tried not to sound so hurt, but it didn’t work. He was hurt. His coworker, his friend, had kept a secret as big as that from him. “I’m sorry,” Dean quickly said when he realized how selfish he sounded. “That’s ridiculous. It’s not my business. I had no right.” He walked over to Cas’s bedside and set his shirt and the shard down on the nightstand.
“It wasn’t important,” Cas calmly answered.
“Wasn’t important? Like knowing you have a sister wasn’t important? Cas, you’re a superhero.” He was angry and he had no idea why.
“I’m not, Dean. That’s just what everyone calls me. I’m just someone who wants to make the world a better place and I’ve been give extra tools to be able to do that.”
“Way to sell yourself short, Cas,” he had no idea why he was being so gruff with Cas.
“You’d do the same thing in my position.”
“But I’m not. All this time…”
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
“No,” Dean said loud enough that Cas jumped. “Don’t apologize about that. I have no right to know about this big of a secret.”
“But you know now.”
“Yeah.” Dean brought a hand up to the bridge of is nose. He sighed as he tried to massage the tension out of his head. “This is too much, Cas.”
“I’m sorry. I can… I…”
He dropped his hand and stared at Cas. “What, Cas? What can you do?”
“Dean?” Cas said, slowly trying to sit up on the bed.
Dean resisted the urge to step forward and help Cas move into the position he wanted. He knew that Cas wanted to do this for himself. He stood by and watched only deciding to help if Cas really needed it.
He waited for Cas to get into a sitting position before he spoke. Once Cas was in a upright, Dean stepped forward and put his hands under Cas’s armpits. He picked him up and helped him to sit against the headboard. When it didn’t look like Cas was going to topple over, he stepped back. He crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m not okay with the fact that you risked your life for me.”
Cas rested his hands on his lap. “Dean, you aren’t blaming yourself, are you?”
“How can I not?”
“Dean, don’t do that. Please,” he begged. “This had nothing to do with you.”
“But it’s true. This whole thing happened because you saved my life.”
“No, the whole situation was because those men were trying to kill me.”
“But they used me as bait,” Dean yelled. He didn’t know when it happened, but when he brought a hand up to his face, he found that his cheeks wet.
Cas wanted to say something, but he wasn’t sure if he had the right words to make Dean feel better. “Dean, I…”
Dean ran his hands down his face, drying it as best as he could. “I… I need a glass of water.” He needed to leave the room for a second. He was getting too emotional and he knew that he’d end up saying something he didn’t mean in the heat of the moment.
“Help yourself. You know where everything is, right?”
“Yeah,” Dean said and walked out of the room.
Not even ten seconds later, Jo was in his room. She stared at her brother and shook his head. “He knows,” she said. “What are you going to do?”
Cas kept his eyes on his lap. He couldn’t look at his sister just yet. “I don’t know.” It was a lot to take in. He never realized that Dean would figure it out. He was always so careful. And he was surprised that Jo wasn’t angrier about the situation.
Jo walked over to Cas’s bed and sat on the edge of it. She put a hand on her brother’s knee. “I think you should erase his memories.”
The suggestion was enough to make Cas raise his eyes. “You think so?”
“Yeah,” Jo replied. “It keeps him safe. You won’t have to worry about him exposing your secret.”
“He would never do that,” Cas said. “Not willingly.”
“Cas. You aren’t ready for him to know. Just erase his memories. If he figures it out later, maybe then he can keep them.”
“I don’t know if that’s the smartest thing for me to do, Jo,” Cas said.
“Cas, this isn’t like telling him that you have a secret daughter or wife. You’re Dark Angel. His job is to take pictures of you.”
Cas looked at his lap again and shook his head. “But I trust him.”
“I know you do, Cas. But do you want to burden him with something like this?” As soon as she said those words, she wanted to take them back.
Cas looked up and stared into his sister’s eyes. He knew it was hard for his family to keep his secret, but they never talked about it. Not like this. Until now. “Jo.”
“I didn’t mean that your secret burdens our family, Cas—”
“No,” Cas whispered to interrupt his sister as politely as he could. He didn’t want her to apologize. He knew what she was trying to say, even if it was a bad choice of words. “All right. I’ll do it when I feel better. I’m too weak right now to use my powers.”
“Really?” Jo asked. She had never seen her brother this injured.
“From my escape from the hospital to flying to work. I feel like I’m not going to be at full power for a couple of days. Maybe weeks.”
Jo leaned forward and kissed her brother on the forehead like their mother used to do to them. “You’ll be fine.”
“I know. Eventually. But right now, I need to talk to Dean.”
Jo let out an exasperated sigh. “Lucas.” She didn’t want her brother to have to deal with all of this when he was still healing. And even moreso, she didn’t want Cas moving around a lot and risk tearing his stitches.
“Can you help me out of bed?” he asked, ignoring Jo’s glares at him.
Jo sighed when she saw Cas swing his legs off the bed. She knew that he was stubborn and he’d get out of bed with or without her help. “Yeah,” she said. She sat on the bed next to him and put one of his arms over her shoulders. “Whenever you’re ready,” she replied.
Cas took his time standing up and Jo was there the entire time, helping him up. As soon as they got to their feet, they had to wait for Cas to stop shaking and to catch his breath.
Jo wrapped her arm around Cas’s back and tightened her hold.
“Jo,” he whispered when he felt Jo’s grip.
“Sorry,” Jo whispered. “This isn’t a good idea, Cas. If you want to talk to him, I’ll just tell him to come in here.”
“No,” Cas whispered. “I’m okay. Let’s go,” he said when his heart stopped racing.
Step by step, they made their way down the hall and into the living room. They found Dean out on the balcony. “I’m surprised he didn’t bolt out of here as soon as you told him.”
“You greatly underestimate him,” Cas replied.
“I guess I don’t know him as well as you do.”
“He’s a good person, Jo.”
“I never said he wasn’t. I just don’t know him enough to trust him like you do.”
“You can trust him.”
“Yeah, we’ll see,” Jo replied.
They were halfway between the hallway and balcony when Dean turned around. He saw Jo helping Cas and ran over to help them. He stood on the other side of Cas and put his arm around his shoulders. He wrapped his arm around Cas’s back, his arm brushing Jo’s. “Where are you guys going?” Dean asked.
“Balcony,” Cas replied.
“Why?”
The Singer siblings ignored him and kept moving toward their destination. They got to the balcony and Cas removed his arms from their shoulders. He waited for the Dean and Jo to let go of him before he made his way to the railing.
Jo stepped behind her brother and put a hand on the small of his back. “Will you be all right out here?”
“Yes, Jo.”
“Okay. I have to go out for a little bit.”
“I’ll be fine, Joanna.”
“I’ll make sure nothing happens to him,” Dean said. When Jo nodded, he counted it as a victory that Jo trusted him enough to look after Cas. And she didn’t yell at him.
The two men leaned against the railing of the building, looking out into the city. They had done this many times on the roof of their work building, but this time was different. And they both knew that it wouldn’t be the same ever again.
[Part 10]
