Fic: Remember What You Told Me (3/4)
Nov. 9th, 2011 09:52 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dauntperplexityTitle: Remember What You Told Me (3/4)
Author: DauntPerplexity
Rating: PG 13
Genre: Romance, amnesia
Characters and/or Pairing: Bobby, Sam, Dean/Castiel
Spoilers: Pretty much anything up to the most recent episode.
Warnings: kissing, nudity, mentions of sex
Word Count: This part - 3544; Total - ~12000
Summary: “I’m not supposed to be okay surrounded by a couple of strangers.”
Author’s Note: Fifth in my Vegas!Verse. This comes after Send Out an SOS. This is the second sign of something they have to work through in their marriage. The long italic parts are flashback scenes.
Part 1 Part 2
Six days went by and the hunters weren’t able to find anything new about Castiel’s condition. Castiel for the most part did whatever he could to help. He read books, cleaned the house, and stayed out of the hunters’ way.
He wasn’t able to remember anything significant. Most of his recovered memories were more images from the honeymoon with Dean. He was grateful that nothing in the memories was rated over R, because although he was married to Dean, it still would be a little awkward seeing him naked.
That night, like every other night, he found himself in his and Dean’s room, on their bed, reading through one of the books Bobby or Sam had handed off to him. He was slowly able to put things together about his life. Not that he remembered; it was what made sense.
Dean, Sam, and Bobby were hunters who fought evil all over the country. They were good with weapons and were basically all the family that they had.
He learned that he wasn’t completely human. Dean was the one put in charge of telling him their story, and if he weren’t so open minded about everything, he would’ve thought Dean and everyone else in the house were crazy. Dean tried to explain some of it to him, but he had to stop when Dean started telling him about the ordeal with Alastair and how the angels made Dean torture the demon. He felt like he was going to throw up.
Dean helped him through it, telling him to breathe, rubbing his back and the back of his neck, and telling him that it wasn’t his fault.
Castiel felt a little better. It gave him a lot to think about.
Late one night, or early in the morning, Castiel found himself unable to sleep again. He found out that as an angel, his sleeping schedule had no pattern. Sometimes he slept, and sometimes he didn’t. Same thing when it came to eating food, and needing to take showers.
But he was thirsty and he forgot to bring a bottle of water upstairs with him. He thought that he could survive without it, but his parched throat told him otherwise.
He made his way down the steps and quietly as he could, not wanting to wake up anyone in the house. He was hoping that Dean was already asleep because he knew he would have to talk to him if he weren’t.
He got to the living room and saw that the TV was on, but there was no one on the couch watching it. He thought about turning it off, but then he realized that there would be no other lights on downstairs. He decided to leave it on for Dean who was probably in the bathroom.
He made it to the kitchen and made a beeline to the fridge. He tore the door open and searched through the contents of it. He was about to make a decision when he heard the sound of someone clearing his voice. He spun around and saw someone sitting at the dining table. “Dean?” he asked.
“Hey, Cas.” He stood up and flipped on the light switch.
“Sorry. I just needed something to drink.” He looked and saw books and papers scattered all over the tabletop. “Sorry I interrupted you.”
“No. It’s cool,” he said. “I was taking a break. As awesome as I am, I can’t read in the dark.”
Castiel blushed. He got to the kitchen table and looked over everything on it. “Is there anything I can help you with?”
Dean only shook his head in response. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” Castiel said quickly. “I’m fine. Just thirsty.” It was no wonder Dean could see through every lie he tried to tell him.
“Liar.”
“And I couldn’t sleep.”
“What’s wrong?” Dean asked. He kicked out the seat closest to Castiel from under the table.
Castiel took it as an opportunity to sit down. He wanted to tell Dean that it was because his sleep schedule made him nocturnal. He slept during the day which meant he was up at night. But that wasn’t what came out of his mouth. “It… I… The bed is too big for one person.” He surprised himself with the admission.
“That it is,” Dean agreed.
“How is the couch? Comfort wise?”
“I don’t really notice.”
“How is that possible?” Castiel could only imagine the pain that came with sleeping on the couch for a week.
“I’ve slept on worse in my lifetime,” Dean said simply. “I usually just watch TV until I fall asleep. Then I wake up. My back hasn’t given me any complaints.”
Castiel nodded, needing to deem the response acceptable. He knew that they were done talking about it and that Dean wasn’t going to let him be coddled over. “Anything good on at this hour?” He felt that was a safe enough subject change.
“Infomercials. And Dr. Sexy reruns.”
“Were you planning on watching TV tonight?”
“Yeah.”
“Can I join you?”
“Of course.” The two of them stood up and turned to walk into the living room. “I thought you said you were thirsty.”
Castiel stopped in his tracks. “Right. Thirsty,” he said. He could feel his cheeks redden for the second time in the past few minutes. “Can I get you anything?
“I’ll have whatever you’re having.”
Castiel grabbed two water bottles and walked to the living room. He sat down on the couch next to Dean. The TV was already on a station. He held a bottle out to Dean who took it graciously. An episode of Dr. Sexy had just started.
The episode was dramatic. Dr. Piccolo was treating a woman who was going into premature labor. There was a lot of yelling and crying because she had miscarried three times before and she really wanted a child. Dr. Piccolo was torn so she had to go to Dr. Sexy for advice.
Then it cut to commercial.
“You watch this show often?” Castiel asked.
“It’s a guilty pleasure.”
Castiel smiled. It definitely was not the type of show that he expected Dean to watch. He thought that Dean would be more into procedural cop shows or something. He liked that was able to learn something about his husband. “Hm…” he said.
“What?” Dean turned in his seat to look at Castiel. He was suspicious of Castiel’s smile.
“Nothing,” he replied. “Nothing important at least.”
“You seem amused.”
“I am.”
“You’re smiling.”
Castiel was going to say something else, but the show came back on. The two of them sat in silence as Dr. Sexy and Dr. Piccolo argued about what to do about the pregnant woman. It took a turn for the worst when they started talking about themselves and if they wanted kids. Dr. Piccolo had posed the question. Dr. Sexy gave a longing look into the distance before the show cut to commercial.
“I forgot how intense this episode was,” Dean said.
“Why?”
“Babies and kids. Always a tough subject.” He reached for his water bottle and took a sip.
“Do you not want a family?”
“What?” Dean asked, dropping his water. He stood up and walked to the kitchen and grabbed a rag. He went back to the couch and wiped up the mess the water made.
“Kids,” Castiel continued. “With me you can’t have kids.”
“Why are we talking about this?” he asked, tossing the rag onto the coffee table.
“Why is the subject hard for you? If you’re with me, we can’t have kids.”
“We could adopt,” Dean replied.
The answer sounded practiced to Castiel. “You’ve thought about this before, haven’t you?”
“Yeah,” he whispered. “Not a lot. Just sometimes on hunts when kids are involved.”
“Have we talked about it?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Never been brought up.”
“Why not?” Castiel repeated.
“Cas,” Dean sighed. He didn’t want to have the talk right now. Especially since Castiel still didn’t have his memory.
Castiel continued to press. He put his hand on Dean’s. “No, Dean. Don’t run away from this. Why haven’t we talked about this?”
“You’re away on… business a lot.”
“And you think that I won’t take time away from my job to help take care of our kid?”
“I know you will. But that’s too much to ask of you.”
“I don’t think so,” Castiel argued.
“It doesn’t matter, Cas,” Dean said. He wanted the conversation to be over. “Because it’s not possible. And if we’re going to adopt, it’d take months, maybe years anyway.”
“But the sooner we talk about it, the sooner you get your family.”
“Cas.”
“Do I want a family?”
“I don’t know,” he groaned, exasperate. “I haven’t had this conversation with you before.”
“Does that mean we’re not talking about it?”
“Not right now. Not until you get your memory back, at least.”
Castiel heard the unsaid ‘Please’ at the end. “Okay.”
“Okay.”
They were able to finish their argument, if they could call it that, right before the episode started up again. Castiel let out a deep breath. He looked at the man next to him. He hadn’t known him long, but he knew. He knew that he was cared for. He knew that he cared about Dean. And he knew that they loved each other. “I think I want kids,” he whispered. He didn’t know if it was loud enough for Dean to hear it or not.
A minute later, Dean responded. “Me too.”
The two of them didn’t talk much the rest of the episode. The only words that were exchanged between them were Dean asking if Castiel needed anything and Castiel asking questions about the show.
Somehow during the episode, Castiel had managed to move over closer to Dean and Dean had wrapped his arm around Castiel’s shoulders.
Castiel felt a hand on his shoulder and he was pulled awake. He didn’t realize that he had fallen asleep.
“Hey, Cas?” he heard a voice whisper.
He peeled open his eyes and saw that he was lying on Dean’s shoulder. “Huh?” He sat up and rubbed his eyes.
“Let’s get you upstairs.”
“I… okay,” he said with a nod.
Dean stood up from the couch slowly. He then held a hand out to Castiel to join him. “Come on.” Dean smiled when Castiel put his hand in his. He helped the sleepy man to his feet. Together they walked to their room. He led Castiel to the bed and sat him down on it. “All right. Good night, Cas,” he said.
“Dean.”
“Yeah, Cas?”
“The bed is big enough for two.”
“What?” Dean asked, unsure what he had heard.
“You look as tired as I feel. This is your bed.”
“Our bed,” Dean corrected.
Castiel smiled. “Okay. Our bed. But it doesn’t mean as much if you’re not here in it with me.”
“If I didn’t know any better, it sounds like you’re hitting on me.”
“I could be,” Castiel said. He wanted to laugh, but instead he started yawning. “But I just want to sleep.”
Dean couldn’t resist him. “Okay.” He shrugged off his outer shirt and jeans, leaving him only in a shirt and his boxers. He climbed into the bed on the right side of Castiel. “No inappropriate touching,” he said, lying down.
“We’re married,” Castiel replied. He laid down on what he guessed was deemed his side of the bed.
“Yeah. True,” Dean said.
Castiel could hear the smile in Dean’s voice. “So, what exactly is inappropriate?”
“Sleep. We’re sleeping. Just sleeping.”
“Why do I get the impression that you’ve never said that before?”
“Because.”
“What?”
“To answer your question from earlier, the sex is awesome.”
“I’ll take your word for that too.”
“Good. So, we’re sleeping. Rest up.”
Castiel felt the familiar pull that he had felt a few times over the last few days. It was the pull he felt when he was about to remember something.
<i>He was laying on his side on a bed, staring at the wall. An arm wrapped around his waist and pulled him back. He felt himself press against something hard. A soft kiss was placed on his shoulder. He turned over and saw that Dean was pressed up against him.
“Okay, rest up,” Dean said. “Because that was just round one.”
“How many rounds are there?” he asked.
“At least three.” There was a huge smile plastered on his face.
“So when does the next round start?” Castiel asked, curious.
“When I’m ready.”
“And how am I supposed to know when that is?”
“You’ll know.”
“Dean,” Castiel said. He was interested and impatient.
“You will. Just give me a couple of minutes to recover.”</i>
He was back in their room at Bobby’s house a moment later. He rolled over, looking at Dean who was facing his back to him. “Goodnight, Dean,” he whispered, unsure if his husband was actually still awake.
“Goodnight.”
Castiel felt himself start to wake up when he felt the sunlight on his eyelids. He tried to stretch, but he felt something wrapped around him and found it a little difficult to move. He opened his eyes and saw an arm wrapped around his waist. Then he felt someone breathing on the back of his neck.
He forgot for a second that he asked Dean to sleep in the same bed with him. He instantly stilled and relaxed. He didn’t want to wake or startle Dean.
He was amused though, how the two of them gravitated toward each other even when they were both sleeping. He put his hand over Dean’s and kept it there. He closed his eyes. He wasn’t falling back asleep any time soon, but he was content with just lying in bed with Dean.
He must have been on the edge of sleeping again because the next thing he knew, he heard Dean’s breathing pick up.
“I’m sorry,” Dean mumbled, slowly waking himself up.
“For what?” Castiel replied.
Dean pulled his hand out from under Castiel’s. “This,” he said. “It’s just that—”
“I get it,” he whispered. “It’s all right.”
Dean rolled over onto his back. “How long have you been awake?”
“Not long.”
“You still tired?”
“No.”
“Hungry?”
“Dean, if I need anything, I can take care of it myself.”
“Okay,” Dean conceded.
Castiel smiled at the small victory he earned. He also rolled over and sat up. He looked to the other side of the bed and saw Dean lying down with his eyes closed. “Do we fight?” he asked.
“Yes,” he replied.
“About?”
“A lot of things.” It was a simple response. One that Dean hoped wouldn’t lead to more questions because that early in the morning, he was close to defenseless.
“Nothing big?”
Dean opened his eyes and turned his head to Castiel. He knew that he wasn’t going to let it go. “Just about you caring about me way more than you care about yourself.”
“Isn’t that what being a relationship is supposed to be partially about?”
“Not if it puts you in danger.”
“Danger? What kind of danger?”
Dean let out a groan. It was the first time that he and Castiel had actually delved that deep into his life. “The kind that your job puts you in.”
“What am I exactly? Like an angel cop?”
“Sure.”
“Dean.”
“Come on, Cas,” Dean groaned. “We can have deep, reconnecting talks, just not when I’ve only been awake for five minutes.”
“You’re less elusive this way.”
“You’re taking advantage of me,” Dean said with a smile.
“You don’t sound too offended.”
“Well, if I say something stupid, I can say that I wasn’t in the right state of mind.” Dean let out a long sigh and put his hands behind his head. “So, you are more than welcome to ask me whatever you want to ask me.”
With that permission, Castiel was going to ask Dean what he wanted to ask him from the moment he found out they were married. “Why do you love me?”
“Except that.”
“Dean.”
“What?” he asked, feigning innocence.
“If we’re married, why do you love me?”
“It’s really hard to explain.”
“Not really. What were your wedding vows?”
“Cas, you can’t ask me that. You know I can’t remember.”
Castiel sighed and slumped his shoulders, defeated. “I’m sorry.” He really wanted Dean to be able to answer him. He looked over and watched as Dean sat up.
Dean put his hand on Castiel’s. With his other hand, he turned Castiel’s face to look at him. “But I can tell you that I love you because you never left me. When things were bad, like really bad, you were always just a phone call away. You saved my life so many times without thinking of your own. I just—”
“Dean,” Castiel interrupted with a whisper. He felt his chest tighten.
“I’m sorry,” Dean said, trying to laugh it off. “I shouldn’t be unloading on you.”
“Hey, if we’re married, then it’s your right.”
“Thanks, Cas,” he sighed, relieved that his ramble didn’t do any damage. “See, this is what you get when you try to talk to me when I’m not awake.”
Castiel brought a hand up and ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “You look exhausted.” He squinted his eyes, inspecting the man in front of him.
“I’ve been worse. Definitely worse.”
“Do I want to know?”
“You already do.”
“You should get some more sleep.”
“What will you do?”
“I’ll shower.”
“I have work to do,” Dean said, trying to climb out of bed.
Castiel put a hand on Dean’s chest to stop him from moving. He leaned forward, their faces only inches apart. He let out a long breath Dean felt on his lips.
Without any warning, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Dean’s. He pulled back and sat back down on his side of the bed. “You’ve been sleeping on the couch for a week, just lie down for a little while longer.”
Dean brought his hand up to his lips and softly touched them. “You kissed me.”
Castiel stood frozen in his position, eyes wide. He hadn’t realized what he had just done. “I… I’m sorry.”
“Why did you kiss me? Did you… Do you remember something?” Dean asked, putting his hand on Castiel’s and squeezing it.
“No. I just thought that it would help me to remember.”
“Did it?”
“No, but it felt familiar. It felt right.”
“Good.”
“It felt good too.” He felt his cheeks warm as he said that.
“If that little thing was good, then what we usually do must be freaking amazing. “
“I’ll take your word for that.”
“That easily?”
“Yeah. You have been nothing but honest with me. Mysterious at times, but honest.”
“It’s a good quality to have.”
Castiel swung his legs out off bed and stood up. He walked to the drawer and grabbed some clothes out of it. He held and started toward the bathroom. He stopped in the doorway. “Dean, what if I don’t remember?”
“That won’t happen.”
“I know that you won’t let it, but what if you can’t fix this and I just don’t remember?”
“Then it’ll be okay.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” A smile spread from ear to ear on Dean’s face. He slid one hand behind his head. “You’ll fall in love with me anyway.”
“That confident?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I am.” Castiel smiled, and looked away, unable to stare at Dean any longer. “See, you’re starting to already.”
“You are unbelievable.”
“You’ll love me regardless.”
“Go to sleep, Dean,” he said, then walked out of the room leaving Dean alone.
He went into the bathroom and then turned on the shower to the perfect temperature. He stepped into the spray and sighed at the warmth covering his body.
Then he felt another pull. He thought that he was going to have time to get out of the shower, but the flash began.
<i>He was lying on his back with Dean over him. Dean bent down and kissed him on temple. “Here’s the deal, Cas,” Dean said.
“What?”
“You’re going to have to remember every detail of this,” he whispered into Castiel’s ear.
“Why?” Castiel was confused.
“I’m drunk. Like so drunk it’s unbelievable. And I’m probably not going to remember it in the morning. But I will sure want to,” Dean replied with a smile. “Can you do that for me, Cas?”
Castiel had only enough time to respond with an nod before Dean began trailing kisses down his body.</i>
He didn’t know how long he was in the shower, but looking down at his hands, it was long enough for his fingers to start wrinkling.
He shut off the water, climbed out of the shower, toweled off, and changed into his clothes. He quietly stepped back into the bedroom and saw that Dean had fallen back asleep. He was on his stomach, his arm thrown over to the side of the bed he laid on earlier. Castiel knew if were in the bed, Dean would have pulled him in again.
He dropped his clothes in the dirty pile of clothes he started on the floor. He then left the room to let Dean sleep. He made his way downstairs hoping that he could help Bobby or Sam with something.
Part 4
Author: DauntPerplexity
Rating: PG 13
Genre: Romance, amnesia
Characters and/or Pairing: Bobby, Sam, Dean/Castiel
Spoilers: Pretty much anything up to the most recent episode.
Warnings: kissing, nudity, mentions of sex
Word Count: This part - 3544; Total - ~12000
Summary: “I’m not supposed to be okay surrounded by a couple of strangers.”
Author’s Note: Fifth in my Vegas!Verse. This comes after Send Out an SOS. This is the second sign of something they have to work through in their marriage. The long italic parts are flashback scenes.
Part 1 Part 2
Six days went by and the hunters weren’t able to find anything new about Castiel’s condition. Castiel for the most part did whatever he could to help. He read books, cleaned the house, and stayed out of the hunters’ way.
He wasn’t able to remember anything significant. Most of his recovered memories were more images from the honeymoon with Dean. He was grateful that nothing in the memories was rated over R, because although he was married to Dean, it still would be a little awkward seeing him naked.
That night, like every other night, he found himself in his and Dean’s room, on their bed, reading through one of the books Bobby or Sam had handed off to him. He was slowly able to put things together about his life. Not that he remembered; it was what made sense.
Dean, Sam, and Bobby were hunters who fought evil all over the country. They were good with weapons and were basically all the family that they had.
He learned that he wasn’t completely human. Dean was the one put in charge of telling him their story, and if he weren’t so open minded about everything, he would’ve thought Dean and everyone else in the house were crazy. Dean tried to explain some of it to him, but he had to stop when Dean started telling him about the ordeal with Alastair and how the angels made Dean torture the demon. He felt like he was going to throw up.
Dean helped him through it, telling him to breathe, rubbing his back and the back of his neck, and telling him that it wasn’t his fault.
Castiel felt a little better. It gave him a lot to think about.
Late one night, or early in the morning, Castiel found himself unable to sleep again. He found out that as an angel, his sleeping schedule had no pattern. Sometimes he slept, and sometimes he didn’t. Same thing when it came to eating food, and needing to take showers.
But he was thirsty and he forgot to bring a bottle of water upstairs with him. He thought that he could survive without it, but his parched throat told him otherwise.
He made his way down the steps and quietly as he could, not wanting to wake up anyone in the house. He was hoping that Dean was already asleep because he knew he would have to talk to him if he weren’t.
He got to the living room and saw that the TV was on, but there was no one on the couch watching it. He thought about turning it off, but then he realized that there would be no other lights on downstairs. He decided to leave it on for Dean who was probably in the bathroom.
He made it to the kitchen and made a beeline to the fridge. He tore the door open and searched through the contents of it. He was about to make a decision when he heard the sound of someone clearing his voice. He spun around and saw someone sitting at the dining table. “Dean?” he asked.
“Hey, Cas.” He stood up and flipped on the light switch.
“Sorry. I just needed something to drink.” He looked and saw books and papers scattered all over the tabletop. “Sorry I interrupted you.”
“No. It’s cool,” he said. “I was taking a break. As awesome as I am, I can’t read in the dark.”
Castiel blushed. He got to the kitchen table and looked over everything on it. “Is there anything I can help you with?”
Dean only shook his head in response. “You okay?”
“Yeah,” Castiel said quickly. “I’m fine. Just thirsty.” It was no wonder Dean could see through every lie he tried to tell him.
“Liar.”
“And I couldn’t sleep.”
“What’s wrong?” Dean asked. He kicked out the seat closest to Castiel from under the table.
Castiel took it as an opportunity to sit down. He wanted to tell Dean that it was because his sleep schedule made him nocturnal. He slept during the day which meant he was up at night. But that wasn’t what came out of his mouth. “It… I… The bed is too big for one person.” He surprised himself with the admission.
“That it is,” Dean agreed.
“How is the couch? Comfort wise?”
“I don’t really notice.”
“How is that possible?” Castiel could only imagine the pain that came with sleeping on the couch for a week.
“I’ve slept on worse in my lifetime,” Dean said simply. “I usually just watch TV until I fall asleep. Then I wake up. My back hasn’t given me any complaints.”
Castiel nodded, needing to deem the response acceptable. He knew that they were done talking about it and that Dean wasn’t going to let him be coddled over. “Anything good on at this hour?” He felt that was a safe enough subject change.
“Infomercials. And Dr. Sexy reruns.”
“Were you planning on watching TV tonight?”
“Yeah.”
“Can I join you?”
“Of course.” The two of them stood up and turned to walk into the living room. “I thought you said you were thirsty.”
Castiel stopped in his tracks. “Right. Thirsty,” he said. He could feel his cheeks redden for the second time in the past few minutes. “Can I get you anything?
“I’ll have whatever you’re having.”
Castiel grabbed two water bottles and walked to the living room. He sat down on the couch next to Dean. The TV was already on a station. He held a bottle out to Dean who took it graciously. An episode of Dr. Sexy had just started.
The episode was dramatic. Dr. Piccolo was treating a woman who was going into premature labor. There was a lot of yelling and crying because she had miscarried three times before and she really wanted a child. Dr. Piccolo was torn so she had to go to Dr. Sexy for advice.
Then it cut to commercial.
“You watch this show often?” Castiel asked.
“It’s a guilty pleasure.”
Castiel smiled. It definitely was not the type of show that he expected Dean to watch. He thought that Dean would be more into procedural cop shows or something. He liked that was able to learn something about his husband. “Hm…” he said.
“What?” Dean turned in his seat to look at Castiel. He was suspicious of Castiel’s smile.
“Nothing,” he replied. “Nothing important at least.”
“You seem amused.”
“I am.”
“You’re smiling.”
Castiel was going to say something else, but the show came back on. The two of them sat in silence as Dr. Sexy and Dr. Piccolo argued about what to do about the pregnant woman. It took a turn for the worst when they started talking about themselves and if they wanted kids. Dr. Piccolo had posed the question. Dr. Sexy gave a longing look into the distance before the show cut to commercial.
“I forgot how intense this episode was,” Dean said.
“Why?”
“Babies and kids. Always a tough subject.” He reached for his water bottle and took a sip.
“Do you not want a family?”
“What?” Dean asked, dropping his water. He stood up and walked to the kitchen and grabbed a rag. He went back to the couch and wiped up the mess the water made.
“Kids,” Castiel continued. “With me you can’t have kids.”
“Why are we talking about this?” he asked, tossing the rag onto the coffee table.
“Why is the subject hard for you? If you’re with me, we can’t have kids.”
“We could adopt,” Dean replied.
The answer sounded practiced to Castiel. “You’ve thought about this before, haven’t you?”
“Yeah,” he whispered. “Not a lot. Just sometimes on hunts when kids are involved.”
“Have we talked about it?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Never been brought up.”
“Why not?” Castiel repeated.
“Cas,” Dean sighed. He didn’t want to have the talk right now. Especially since Castiel still didn’t have his memory.
Castiel continued to press. He put his hand on Dean’s. “No, Dean. Don’t run away from this. Why haven’t we talked about this?”
“You’re away on… business a lot.”
“And you think that I won’t take time away from my job to help take care of our kid?”
“I know you will. But that’s too much to ask of you.”
“I don’t think so,” Castiel argued.
“It doesn’t matter, Cas,” Dean said. He wanted the conversation to be over. “Because it’s not possible. And if we’re going to adopt, it’d take months, maybe years anyway.”
“But the sooner we talk about it, the sooner you get your family.”
“Cas.”
“Do I want a family?”
“I don’t know,” he groaned, exasperate. “I haven’t had this conversation with you before.”
“Does that mean we’re not talking about it?”
“Not right now. Not until you get your memory back, at least.”
Castiel heard the unsaid ‘Please’ at the end. “Okay.”
“Okay.”
They were able to finish their argument, if they could call it that, right before the episode started up again. Castiel let out a deep breath. He looked at the man next to him. He hadn’t known him long, but he knew. He knew that he was cared for. He knew that he cared about Dean. And he knew that they loved each other. “I think I want kids,” he whispered. He didn’t know if it was loud enough for Dean to hear it or not.
A minute later, Dean responded. “Me too.”
The two of them didn’t talk much the rest of the episode. The only words that were exchanged between them were Dean asking if Castiel needed anything and Castiel asking questions about the show.
Somehow during the episode, Castiel had managed to move over closer to Dean and Dean had wrapped his arm around Castiel’s shoulders.
LRLRLRLRLRLRLR
Castiel felt a hand on his shoulder and he was pulled awake. He didn’t realize that he had fallen asleep.
“Hey, Cas?” he heard a voice whisper.
He peeled open his eyes and saw that he was lying on Dean’s shoulder. “Huh?” He sat up and rubbed his eyes.
“Let’s get you upstairs.”
“I… okay,” he said with a nod.
Dean stood up from the couch slowly. He then held a hand out to Castiel to join him. “Come on.” Dean smiled when Castiel put his hand in his. He helped the sleepy man to his feet. Together they walked to their room. He led Castiel to the bed and sat him down on it. “All right. Good night, Cas,” he said.
“Dean.”
“Yeah, Cas?”
“The bed is big enough for two.”
“What?” Dean asked, unsure what he had heard.
“You look as tired as I feel. This is your bed.”
“Our bed,” Dean corrected.
Castiel smiled. “Okay. Our bed. But it doesn’t mean as much if you’re not here in it with me.”
“If I didn’t know any better, it sounds like you’re hitting on me.”
“I could be,” Castiel said. He wanted to laugh, but instead he started yawning. “But I just want to sleep.”
Dean couldn’t resist him. “Okay.” He shrugged off his outer shirt and jeans, leaving him only in a shirt and his boxers. He climbed into the bed on the right side of Castiel. “No inappropriate touching,” he said, lying down.
“We’re married,” Castiel replied. He laid down on what he guessed was deemed his side of the bed.
“Yeah. True,” Dean said.
Castiel could hear the smile in Dean’s voice. “So, what exactly is inappropriate?”
“Sleep. We’re sleeping. Just sleeping.”
“Why do I get the impression that you’ve never said that before?”
“Because.”
“What?”
“To answer your question from earlier, the sex is awesome.”
“I’ll take your word for that too.”
“Good. So, we’re sleeping. Rest up.”
Castiel felt the familiar pull that he had felt a few times over the last few days. It was the pull he felt when he was about to remember something.
<i>He was laying on his side on a bed, staring at the wall. An arm wrapped around his waist and pulled him back. He felt himself press against something hard. A soft kiss was placed on his shoulder. He turned over and saw that Dean was pressed up against him.
“Okay, rest up,” Dean said. “Because that was just round one.”
“How many rounds are there?” he asked.
“At least three.” There was a huge smile plastered on his face.
“So when does the next round start?” Castiel asked, curious.
“When I’m ready.”
“And how am I supposed to know when that is?”
“You’ll know.”
“Dean,” Castiel said. He was interested and impatient.
“You will. Just give me a couple of minutes to recover.”</i>
He was back in their room at Bobby’s house a moment later. He rolled over, looking at Dean who was facing his back to him. “Goodnight, Dean,” he whispered, unsure if his husband was actually still awake.
“Goodnight.”
LRLRLRLRLRLRLR
Castiel felt himself start to wake up when he felt the sunlight on his eyelids. He tried to stretch, but he felt something wrapped around him and found it a little difficult to move. He opened his eyes and saw an arm wrapped around his waist. Then he felt someone breathing on the back of his neck.
He forgot for a second that he asked Dean to sleep in the same bed with him. He instantly stilled and relaxed. He didn’t want to wake or startle Dean.
He was amused though, how the two of them gravitated toward each other even when they were both sleeping. He put his hand over Dean’s and kept it there. He closed his eyes. He wasn’t falling back asleep any time soon, but he was content with just lying in bed with Dean.
He must have been on the edge of sleeping again because the next thing he knew, he heard Dean’s breathing pick up.
“I’m sorry,” Dean mumbled, slowly waking himself up.
“For what?” Castiel replied.
Dean pulled his hand out from under Castiel’s. “This,” he said. “It’s just that—”
“I get it,” he whispered. “It’s all right.”
Dean rolled over onto his back. “How long have you been awake?”
“Not long.”
“You still tired?”
“No.”
“Hungry?”
“Dean, if I need anything, I can take care of it myself.”
“Okay,” Dean conceded.
Castiel smiled at the small victory he earned. He also rolled over and sat up. He looked to the other side of the bed and saw Dean lying down with his eyes closed. “Do we fight?” he asked.
“Yes,” he replied.
“About?”
“A lot of things.” It was a simple response. One that Dean hoped wouldn’t lead to more questions because that early in the morning, he was close to defenseless.
“Nothing big?”
Dean opened his eyes and turned his head to Castiel. He knew that he wasn’t going to let it go. “Just about you caring about me way more than you care about yourself.”
“Isn’t that what being a relationship is supposed to be partially about?”
“Not if it puts you in danger.”
“Danger? What kind of danger?”
Dean let out a groan. It was the first time that he and Castiel had actually delved that deep into his life. “The kind that your job puts you in.”
“What am I exactly? Like an angel cop?”
“Sure.”
“Dean.”
“Come on, Cas,” Dean groaned. “We can have deep, reconnecting talks, just not when I’ve only been awake for five minutes.”
“You’re less elusive this way.”
“You’re taking advantage of me,” Dean said with a smile.
“You don’t sound too offended.”
“Well, if I say something stupid, I can say that I wasn’t in the right state of mind.” Dean let out a long sigh and put his hands behind his head. “So, you are more than welcome to ask me whatever you want to ask me.”
With that permission, Castiel was going to ask Dean what he wanted to ask him from the moment he found out they were married. “Why do you love me?”
“Except that.”
“Dean.”
“What?” he asked, feigning innocence.
“If we’re married, why do you love me?”
“It’s really hard to explain.”
“Not really. What were your wedding vows?”
“Cas, you can’t ask me that. You know I can’t remember.”
Castiel sighed and slumped his shoulders, defeated. “I’m sorry.” He really wanted Dean to be able to answer him. He looked over and watched as Dean sat up.
Dean put his hand on Castiel’s. With his other hand, he turned Castiel’s face to look at him. “But I can tell you that I love you because you never left me. When things were bad, like really bad, you were always just a phone call away. You saved my life so many times without thinking of your own. I just—”
“Dean,” Castiel interrupted with a whisper. He felt his chest tighten.
“I’m sorry,” Dean said, trying to laugh it off. “I shouldn’t be unloading on you.”
“Hey, if we’re married, then it’s your right.”
“Thanks, Cas,” he sighed, relieved that his ramble didn’t do any damage. “See, this is what you get when you try to talk to me when I’m not awake.”
Castiel brought a hand up and ran his fingers through Dean’s hair. “You look exhausted.” He squinted his eyes, inspecting the man in front of him.
“I’ve been worse. Definitely worse.”
“Do I want to know?”
“You already do.”
“You should get some more sleep.”
“What will you do?”
“I’ll shower.”
“I have work to do,” Dean said, trying to climb out of bed.
Castiel put a hand on Dean’s chest to stop him from moving. He leaned forward, their faces only inches apart. He let out a long breath Dean felt on his lips.
Without any warning, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to Dean’s. He pulled back and sat back down on his side of the bed. “You’ve been sleeping on the couch for a week, just lie down for a little while longer.”
Dean brought his hand up to his lips and softly touched them. “You kissed me.”
Castiel stood frozen in his position, eyes wide. He hadn’t realized what he had just done. “I… I’m sorry.”
“Why did you kiss me? Did you… Do you remember something?” Dean asked, putting his hand on Castiel’s and squeezing it.
“No. I just thought that it would help me to remember.”
“Did it?”
“No, but it felt familiar. It felt right.”
“Good.”
“It felt good too.” He felt his cheeks warm as he said that.
“If that little thing was good, then what we usually do must be freaking amazing. “
“I’ll take your word for that.”
“That easily?”
“Yeah. You have been nothing but honest with me. Mysterious at times, but honest.”
“It’s a good quality to have.”
Castiel swung his legs out off bed and stood up. He walked to the drawer and grabbed some clothes out of it. He held and started toward the bathroom. He stopped in the doorway. “Dean, what if I don’t remember?”
“That won’t happen.”
“I know that you won’t let it, but what if you can’t fix this and I just don’t remember?”
“Then it’ll be okay.”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” A smile spread from ear to ear on Dean’s face. He slid one hand behind his head. “You’ll fall in love with me anyway.”
“That confident?”
“Yeah. Yeah, I am.” Castiel smiled, and looked away, unable to stare at Dean any longer. “See, you’re starting to already.”
“You are unbelievable.”
“You’ll love me regardless.”
“Go to sleep, Dean,” he said, then walked out of the room leaving Dean alone.
He went into the bathroom and then turned on the shower to the perfect temperature. He stepped into the spray and sighed at the warmth covering his body.
Then he felt another pull. He thought that he was going to have time to get out of the shower, but the flash began.
<i>He was lying on his back with Dean over him. Dean bent down and kissed him on temple. “Here’s the deal, Cas,” Dean said.
“What?”
“You’re going to have to remember every detail of this,” he whispered into Castiel’s ear.
“Why?” Castiel was confused.
“I’m drunk. Like so drunk it’s unbelievable. And I’m probably not going to remember it in the morning. But I will sure want to,” Dean replied with a smile. “Can you do that for me, Cas?”
Castiel had only enough time to respond with an nod before Dean began trailing kisses down his body.</i>
He didn’t know how long he was in the shower, but looking down at his hands, it was long enough for his fingers to start wrinkling.
He shut off the water, climbed out of the shower, toweled off, and changed into his clothes. He quietly stepped back into the bedroom and saw that Dean had fallen back asleep. He was on his stomach, his arm thrown over to the side of the bed he laid on earlier. Castiel knew if were in the bed, Dean would have pulled him in again.
He dropped his clothes in the dirty pile of clothes he started on the floor. He then left the room to let Dean sleep. He made his way downstairs hoping that he could help Bobby or Sam with something.
Part 4
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Date: 2011-11-19 12:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-11-19 07:45 pm (UTC)The final chapter should be up next week! Thanks for reading!