dauntperplexity (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dauntperplexity) wrote2010-03-17 11:45 am
dauntperplexity) wrote2010-03-17 11:45 am
Entry tags:
Fic: He Heals Me (2/4)
Title: He Heals Me (2/4)
Author: DauntPerplexity
Rating: PG 13
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Spoilers: We’ll just say season 5
Length: 11,719
Summary: “Okay, Mr. Know-it-all,” Dean replied. “Just because you tell me everything.”
Author’s Notes: So, these are just a bunch of one shots that could or could not take place in Dean and Castiel’s relationship. Some stories link, some stand alone. There is no order to these stories. The order is more for the songs themselves.
5. Use Somebody – Kings of Leon
I’ve been roaming around,
I was looking down at all I see
Painted faces
Fill the places I can’t reach
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you and all you know and how you speak
Dean finished his beer and set the empty bottle back down on the bar. He sighed, exhausted from finishing a hunt. It was simple, a poltergeist, but every hunt they took was taxing on them. No matter how small it was.
He looked up when he felt a touch on his arm. It was a girl. She was cute. Light brown hair, hazel eyes. “Hey,” she said, coyly.
“Hey,” he replied. He wished he hadn’t finished his beer so he could at least pretend he was more interested in something else besides her advances.
“You alone?”
“At the moment,” Dean said.
“Am I going to be the one to change that?” She took a seat next to him.
Dean took his wallet out of his back pocket and pulled out enough money to pay for the drinks he had in the few hours he was there. “I’m actually going to meet someone.” He practically jumped out of his seat, trying to get away from her.
“Lucky her,” she replied.
“Yeah,” Dean said. “Nice to meet you,” he said, then walked out of the bar.
As soon as he stepped outside, a gust of wind blew past. He stuck his hands into his pockets and quickly made it to the Impala. As soon as he was inside, he rested his head on the steering wheel.
He wondered what was wrong with him. Any other day, he would’ve easily responded to whatever that girl was throwing at him. Especially now with the Apocalypse at hand, he should’ve been taking every chance to shack up with someone.
But something was different. He was different.
And most of the time he felt like nobody would understand.
Except one person.
He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and punched in the seven digits that he engraved in his memory. “Hello?” answered the rough voice on the other line.
“Cas?”
“Dean? Are you all right?”
“I’m fine, Cas.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay.”
They stayed on the phone in silence for a few minutes. “If you aren’t busy, can you stop by the motel later?”
“Of course,” he replied, so obliging. “I’ll be there. Do you need anything?”
Dean thought for a second. “No. You just being around just helps me to clear my head. Sort through my thoughts. Find stuff I didn’t know I was looking for,” his voice got softer with each sentence.
“I’ll be there.”
“Okay. Thanks.” He turned the key in the ignition and started the car.
“Drive safe, Dean.”
“See you soon, Cas.”
6. If it Kills Me – Jason Mraz
Well, all I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can’t say it after all we’ve been through
Dean ran as fast as he could away from the building. He knew that the building was about get destroyed by an explosion, but he didn’t know how large it would be. So he ran, hoping to get far enough that the shockwave and debris wouldn’t hit him.
He wanted to keep running, but he felt himself get pushed from the back. He skidded his knees on the pavement and felt something fall on top of him. And he thought that he was done. He heard the explosion and he felt the pulse of heat, but he didn’t feel the aftershock. He didn’t even feel any debris even though he heard it falling around him. “What?” he whispered.
“Don’t move.”
The voice sounded familiar. “Cas?” He tried to roll over and look at the angel, but he found that he was pinned down.
“Hold on,” Castiel replied.
Dean waited and heard the building collapse. He tried to push Castiel to see what was going on around them, but Castiel stayed put, which meant he had to do the same.
After ten minutes of Castiel lying on top of him, he finally and slowly rolled off. Dean sat up and saw Castiel kneeling beside him. “Kinky, Cas.” Dean watched as Castiel’s chest rose and fell with deep breaths. “Are you all right?” his mood going from joking to worried.
“Just need a moment,” Castiel said.
Dean made his way to his feet and looked around. He saw that even if he kept running he still would’ve been hit by some flying materials. The entire area was covered in dust and wreckage except for the spot he had just been lying in. Which meant…
“Cas, let me see your back,” Dean said.
“Dean, it’s fine.”
He ignored the angel and walked around to look at his back. He hissed when he saw the damage done to it. It was in shreds and blood ran down it in rivers. “That is not fine, Cas,” Dean chastised.
“Like I said earlier, just give me a few minutes.”
“I don’t want to watch this,” Dean said walking around to Castiel’s front. He squatted down in front of Castiel and put one hand on his shoulder while the other went to his chin. He waited for Castiel’s eyes to meet his. “You saved my life, again.”
“You put yourself in a situation where I needed to save your life, again.”
“I’m trying to thank you, Cas.”
“I’m trying to tell you that there is nothing to thank me for.”
“I feel like I don’t say those words enough.”
“You don’t have to,” Castiel said with a shaky breath as he felt his back mending. “I know that you’re grateful for it.”
He was grateful for it. And for so much more. “Well, I just want you to know.”
“I do.”
Dean was about to say something else when his eyes moved down to stare at Castiel’s lips. He watched every inhale and exhale coming from the angel. He watched as Castiel bit his lip to keep from crying out in pain. He watched as Castiel licked his lips after every wave of pain passed.
He wanted to kiss him.
He leaned forward, tilting his head.
An inch away, he changed direction and instead of kissing Castiel on his lips, he kissed him on his temple.
There was something more intimate about that moment that Dean couldn’t describe.
He pulled away and saw Castiel’s eyes closed with his lips slightly parted as his breathing became more at ease. “Thank you, Cas,” Dean whispered. “For everything.”
Castiel’s eyes slid open, his gaze immediately meeting Dean’s. “You’re welcome, Dean.”
Dean felt his heart rate speed up. He didn’t know what it was, but every emotion he tried to deny regarding Castiel was bubbling to the surface. But he pushed all of those emotions aside. He couldn’t at on them now.
After all the lives they’d. All the blood they shed. All the blood they’ve shed. All the times they’ve saved each other’s lives. All the touches. All the stares. All the freedom and comfort that he felt whenever they were together.
It didn’t make sense to act on those emotions right now.
Or did it?
7. I Need You to Love Me – Barlowgirl
I have wasted so much time
Pushing you away from me
I just never saw how you
Could cherish me
“Cas?”
“Yes, Dean?”
“I want to know why?”
“Why what, Dean?”
“Why do you keep saving my life?”
“Because you’re my charge.”
“That can’t be the only reason. There has to be something else.”
“Dean, I pulled you from Hell. I’m responsible for you.”
“And that’s it?”
“Yes.”
“I think you’re lying.”
“I can’t lie to you, Dean.”
“So, the only reason that you are always saving my life is because I’m your charge.”
“Yes.”
“Nothing else.”
“What else would there be?”
“I’m trying to figure that out.”
“You’ll be thinking for a long time.”
“Cas, look at me and tell me that there isn’t a reason that you will race away from whatever you are doing to save my life.”
“Dean…”
“You love me.”
“I… I should go.”
“No. No running away from this.”
“I wasn’t going to run. I was going to fly.”
“Cas. Look at me. Do you love me?”
“Of course I love you, Dean. I’m an angel. We were created from love.”
“Cas. Seriously. You said you would never lie to me.”
“You choose now to finally listen to what I’m saying.”
“I always listen. I just never agree and figure that my ideas are better.”
“That assumption is usually wrong.”
“Okay, so why me?”
“What?”
“Why did you fall in love with me?”
“Because you’re special.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“But you know what I’ve done. You saw first hand what I did.”
“But I’ve seen your soul.”
“And you fell in love with it?
“I’m sorry, Dean.”
“For what?”
“Loving you.”
“Cas.”
“I know that it’s a waste of energy.”
“Cas, listen to me.”
“Yes.”
“You love me? After all the crap that you’ve had to go through for me? The dying. The rebelling. The punishments. After all the teasing, and trying to corrupt you, and the blaming, and stubbornness, and trying to push you away. I’m such an ass to you. You love me after all of that?”
“Yes.”
“Well, then I guess there’s something I need to tell you. I—Damnit, Cas! Come back. Cas! I was trying to tell you that I love you too. Stupid angel.”
8. I’ll Be – Edwin McCain
And I’ve dropped out, I’ve burned up,
I’ve fought my way back from the dead.
I’ve tuned in, turned on,
Remembered the things that you said.
He’d made it. He’d found him after all that time. He finally made it to the door.
All he had to do was knock.
He knocked on the door twice and immediately he heard the sound of shuffling coming from inside the room.
He wasn’t surprised when he was greeted with two guns pointed to his chest. He also wasn’t surprised by the matching wide-eyed stares coming from the brothers on the other side of the door. “Christo,” they said simultaneously.
He stood there staring at them like they were crazy. “It’s me,” he whispered.
“We’ll see about that,” Dean said, not ready to believe what was standing right in front of him. Dean reached into his boot and pulled out a silver knife.
He held out his arm be cut. Dean cut him on his forearm and was satisfied when all he did was bleed. Sam then walked over and poured Holy Water all over the wound. Again, no reaction. Finally, Dean looked down and Sam and him took a few steps away from the door. Dean waved him to come inside.
He stepped over the salt line and through the traps without any hindrance.
Dean and Sam stared at him as he stood in the middle of the room. “Cas?” Dean asked with a shaky voice, dropping everything he was holding.
“It’s me,” Castiel replied.
“How?” Sam asked.
“We saw them pull you down.”
“They did,” Castiel replied. He swayed where he stood. “They did,” he repeated, this time, his voice much softer.
Dean rushed forward as Castiel slowly fell. He eased the both of them down to the floor. Dean sat while he cradled Castiel in his arms. “We thought you died,” Dean whispered.
“I did.”
“Dean, he’s bleeding,” Sam said. Dean looked over Castiel’s shoulder and saw that his entire front side was covered in blood. “I don’t think we have enough supplies for that.”
“Go restock, Sammy,” Dean said.
“Yeah, sure.” He swiped the keys off the table and was out the door in a flash.
“How are you here, Cas?”
“I walked.”
Dean would’ve appreciated the timing for humor if he wasn’t so concerned with how Castiel was alive. “Seriously, Cas.”
“I fought,” he whispered. “At every chance I got.”
“Good for you,” Dean said, rubbing Castiel’s arm reassuringly.
“It’s because of you, Dean. I remembered.”
“What do you mean?”
“I kept hearing your voice in my head yelling at me.”
“What was I saying?” Somehow his hand had moved from Castiel’s arm to his hair. He ran his fingers through the angel’s wet and dirty locks.
“‘You aren’t allowed to die for me again, you bastard’,” the angel said.
Dean laughed. “Damn right.”
“I know that you would’ve blamed yourself.”
“I did.”
“Came back so you wouldn’t.”
“Thanks for that.”
“You’re supposed to be angry with me.”
“I’ll be angry once you’re better.”
“Okay,” Castiel answered slowly. He let out a long breath. “Came back for other reasons too.”
“Well, whatever they are, they can wait,” Dean said. “Right now, all you have to do is sleep while me and Sammy patch you up.” He waited for Castiel to say something, but when he looked down, he saw the angel’s breathing had evened out and his eyes were already closed. He maneuvered him so that Castiel’s head rested on his lap. “I’m glad you came back, Cas,” Dean whispered. “I have a lot of things that I’ve been meaning to tell you.”
Part 3
Author: DauntPerplexity
Rating: PG 13
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Spoilers: We’ll just say season 5
Length: 11,719
Summary: “Okay, Mr. Know-it-all,” Dean replied. “Just because you tell me everything.”
Author’s Notes: So, these are just a bunch of one shots that could or could not take place in Dean and Castiel’s relationship. Some stories link, some stand alone. There is no order to these stories. The order is more for the songs themselves.
5. Use Somebody – Kings of Leon
I’ve been roaming around,
I was looking down at all I see
Painted faces
Fill the places I can’t reach
You know that I could use somebody
You know that I could use somebody
Someone like you and all you know and how you speak
Dean finished his beer and set the empty bottle back down on the bar. He sighed, exhausted from finishing a hunt. It was simple, a poltergeist, but every hunt they took was taxing on them. No matter how small it was.
He looked up when he felt a touch on his arm. It was a girl. She was cute. Light brown hair, hazel eyes. “Hey,” she said, coyly.
“Hey,” he replied. He wished he hadn’t finished his beer so he could at least pretend he was more interested in something else besides her advances.
“You alone?”
“At the moment,” Dean said.
“Am I going to be the one to change that?” She took a seat next to him.
Dean took his wallet out of his back pocket and pulled out enough money to pay for the drinks he had in the few hours he was there. “I’m actually going to meet someone.” He practically jumped out of his seat, trying to get away from her.
“Lucky her,” she replied.
“Yeah,” Dean said. “Nice to meet you,” he said, then walked out of the bar.
As soon as he stepped outside, a gust of wind blew past. He stuck his hands into his pockets and quickly made it to the Impala. As soon as he was inside, he rested his head on the steering wheel.
He wondered what was wrong with him. Any other day, he would’ve easily responded to whatever that girl was throwing at him. Especially now with the Apocalypse at hand, he should’ve been taking every chance to shack up with someone.
But something was different. He was different.
And most of the time he felt like nobody would understand.
Except one person.
He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and punched in the seven digits that he engraved in his memory. “Hello?” answered the rough voice on the other line.
“Cas?”
“Dean? Are you all right?”
“I’m fine, Cas.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay.”
They stayed on the phone in silence for a few minutes. “If you aren’t busy, can you stop by the motel later?”
“Of course,” he replied, so obliging. “I’ll be there. Do you need anything?”
Dean thought for a second. “No. You just being around just helps me to clear my head. Sort through my thoughts. Find stuff I didn’t know I was looking for,” his voice got softer with each sentence.
“I’ll be there.”
“Okay. Thanks.” He turned the key in the ignition and started the car.
“Drive safe, Dean.”
“See you soon, Cas.”
6. If it Kills Me – Jason Mraz
Well, all I really wanna do is love you
A kind much closer than friends use
But I still can’t say it after all we’ve been through
Dean ran as fast as he could away from the building. He knew that the building was about get destroyed by an explosion, but he didn’t know how large it would be. So he ran, hoping to get far enough that the shockwave and debris wouldn’t hit him.
He wanted to keep running, but he felt himself get pushed from the back. He skidded his knees on the pavement and felt something fall on top of him. And he thought that he was done. He heard the explosion and he felt the pulse of heat, but he didn’t feel the aftershock. He didn’t even feel any debris even though he heard it falling around him. “What?” he whispered.
“Don’t move.”
The voice sounded familiar. “Cas?” He tried to roll over and look at the angel, but he found that he was pinned down.
“Hold on,” Castiel replied.
Dean waited and heard the building collapse. He tried to push Castiel to see what was going on around them, but Castiel stayed put, which meant he had to do the same.
After ten minutes of Castiel lying on top of him, he finally and slowly rolled off. Dean sat up and saw Castiel kneeling beside him. “Kinky, Cas.” Dean watched as Castiel’s chest rose and fell with deep breaths. “Are you all right?” his mood going from joking to worried.
“Just need a moment,” Castiel said.
Dean made his way to his feet and looked around. He saw that even if he kept running he still would’ve been hit by some flying materials. The entire area was covered in dust and wreckage except for the spot he had just been lying in. Which meant…
“Cas, let me see your back,” Dean said.
“Dean, it’s fine.”
He ignored the angel and walked around to look at his back. He hissed when he saw the damage done to it. It was in shreds and blood ran down it in rivers. “That is not fine, Cas,” Dean chastised.
“Like I said earlier, just give me a few minutes.”
“I don’t want to watch this,” Dean said walking around to Castiel’s front. He squatted down in front of Castiel and put one hand on his shoulder while the other went to his chin. He waited for Castiel’s eyes to meet his. “You saved my life, again.”
“You put yourself in a situation where I needed to save your life, again.”
“I’m trying to thank you, Cas.”
“I’m trying to tell you that there is nothing to thank me for.”
“I feel like I don’t say those words enough.”
“You don’t have to,” Castiel said with a shaky breath as he felt his back mending. “I know that you’re grateful for it.”
He was grateful for it. And for so much more. “Well, I just want you to know.”
“I do.”
Dean was about to say something else when his eyes moved down to stare at Castiel’s lips. He watched every inhale and exhale coming from the angel. He watched as Castiel bit his lip to keep from crying out in pain. He watched as Castiel licked his lips after every wave of pain passed.
He wanted to kiss him.
He leaned forward, tilting his head.
An inch away, he changed direction and instead of kissing Castiel on his lips, he kissed him on his temple.
There was something more intimate about that moment that Dean couldn’t describe.
He pulled away and saw Castiel’s eyes closed with his lips slightly parted as his breathing became more at ease. “Thank you, Cas,” Dean whispered. “For everything.”
Castiel’s eyes slid open, his gaze immediately meeting Dean’s. “You’re welcome, Dean.”
Dean felt his heart rate speed up. He didn’t know what it was, but every emotion he tried to deny regarding Castiel was bubbling to the surface. But he pushed all of those emotions aside. He couldn’t at on them now.
After all the lives they’d. All the blood they shed. All the blood they’ve shed. All the times they’ve saved each other’s lives. All the touches. All the stares. All the freedom and comfort that he felt whenever they were together.
It didn’t make sense to act on those emotions right now.
Or did it?
7. I Need You to Love Me – Barlowgirl
I have wasted so much time
Pushing you away from me
I just never saw how you
Could cherish me
“Cas?”
“Yes, Dean?”
“I want to know why?”
“Why what, Dean?”
“Why do you keep saving my life?”
“Because you’re my charge.”
“That can’t be the only reason. There has to be something else.”
“Dean, I pulled you from Hell. I’m responsible for you.”
“And that’s it?”
“Yes.”
“I think you’re lying.”
“I can’t lie to you, Dean.”
“So, the only reason that you are always saving my life is because I’m your charge.”
“Yes.”
“Nothing else.”
“What else would there be?”
“I’m trying to figure that out.”
“You’ll be thinking for a long time.”
“Cas, look at me and tell me that there isn’t a reason that you will race away from whatever you are doing to save my life.”
“Dean…”
“You love me.”
“I… I should go.”
“No. No running away from this.”
“I wasn’t going to run. I was going to fly.”
“Cas. Look at me. Do you love me?”
“Of course I love you, Dean. I’m an angel. We were created from love.”
“Cas. Seriously. You said you would never lie to me.”
“You choose now to finally listen to what I’m saying.”
“I always listen. I just never agree and figure that my ideas are better.”
“That assumption is usually wrong.”
“Okay, so why me?”
“What?”
“Why did you fall in love with me?”
“Because you’re special.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“But you know what I’ve done. You saw first hand what I did.”
“But I’ve seen your soul.”
“And you fell in love with it?
“I’m sorry, Dean.”
“For what?”
“Loving you.”
“Cas.”
“I know that it’s a waste of energy.”
“Cas, listen to me.”
“Yes.”
“You love me? After all the crap that you’ve had to go through for me? The dying. The rebelling. The punishments. After all the teasing, and trying to corrupt you, and the blaming, and stubbornness, and trying to push you away. I’m such an ass to you. You love me after all of that?”
“Yes.”
“Well, then I guess there’s something I need to tell you. I—Damnit, Cas! Come back. Cas! I was trying to tell you that I love you too. Stupid angel.”
8. I’ll Be – Edwin McCain
And I’ve dropped out, I’ve burned up,
I’ve fought my way back from the dead.
I’ve tuned in, turned on,
Remembered the things that you said.
He’d made it. He’d found him after all that time. He finally made it to the door.
All he had to do was knock.
He knocked on the door twice and immediately he heard the sound of shuffling coming from inside the room.
He wasn’t surprised when he was greeted with two guns pointed to his chest. He also wasn’t surprised by the matching wide-eyed stares coming from the brothers on the other side of the door. “Christo,” they said simultaneously.
He stood there staring at them like they were crazy. “It’s me,” he whispered.
“We’ll see about that,” Dean said, not ready to believe what was standing right in front of him. Dean reached into his boot and pulled out a silver knife.
He held out his arm be cut. Dean cut him on his forearm and was satisfied when all he did was bleed. Sam then walked over and poured Holy Water all over the wound. Again, no reaction. Finally, Dean looked down and Sam and him took a few steps away from the door. Dean waved him to come inside.
He stepped over the salt line and through the traps without any hindrance.
Dean and Sam stared at him as he stood in the middle of the room. “Cas?” Dean asked with a shaky voice, dropping everything he was holding.
“It’s me,” Castiel replied.
“How?” Sam asked.
“We saw them pull you down.”
“They did,” Castiel replied. He swayed where he stood. “They did,” he repeated, this time, his voice much softer.
Dean rushed forward as Castiel slowly fell. He eased the both of them down to the floor. Dean sat while he cradled Castiel in his arms. “We thought you died,” Dean whispered.
“I did.”
“Dean, he’s bleeding,” Sam said. Dean looked over Castiel’s shoulder and saw that his entire front side was covered in blood. “I don’t think we have enough supplies for that.”
“Go restock, Sammy,” Dean said.
“Yeah, sure.” He swiped the keys off the table and was out the door in a flash.
“How are you here, Cas?”
“I walked.”
Dean would’ve appreciated the timing for humor if he wasn’t so concerned with how Castiel was alive. “Seriously, Cas.”
“I fought,” he whispered. “At every chance I got.”
“Good for you,” Dean said, rubbing Castiel’s arm reassuringly.
“It’s because of you, Dean. I remembered.”
“What do you mean?”
“I kept hearing your voice in my head yelling at me.”
“What was I saying?” Somehow his hand had moved from Castiel’s arm to his hair. He ran his fingers through the angel’s wet and dirty locks.
“‘You aren’t allowed to die for me again, you bastard’,” the angel said.
Dean laughed. “Damn right.”
“I know that you would’ve blamed yourself.”
“I did.”
“Came back so you wouldn’t.”
“Thanks for that.”
“You’re supposed to be angry with me.”
“I’ll be angry once you’re better.”
“Okay,” Castiel answered slowly. He let out a long breath. “Came back for other reasons too.”
“Well, whatever they are, they can wait,” Dean said. “Right now, all you have to do is sleep while me and Sammy patch you up.” He waited for Castiel to say something, but when he looked down, he saw the angel’s breathing had evened out and his eyes were already closed. He maneuvered him so that Castiel’s head rested on his lap. “I’m glad you came back, Cas,” Dean whispered. “I have a lot of things that I’ve been meaning to tell you.”
Part 3