dauntperplexity (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
dauntperplexity) wrote2011-11-23 10:41 am
dauntperplexity) wrote2011-11-23 10:41 am
Entry tags:
Fic: Remember What You Told Me (4/4)
Title: Remember What You Told Me (4/4)
Author: DauntPerplexity
Rating: PG 13
Genre: Romance, amnesia
Characters and/or Pairing: Bobby, Sam, Dean/Castiel
Spoilers: Pretty much anything up to the most recent episode.
Warnings: kissing, nudity, mentions of sex
Word Count: This part – 2196; Total - ~ 12246
Summary: “I’m not supposed to be okay surrounded by a couple of strangers.”
Author’s Note: Fifth in my Vegas!Verse. This comes after Send Out an SOS. This is the second sign of something they have to work through in their marriage. The long italic parts are flashback scenes.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
Castiel had officially been memory-less for two weeks. Sure, he remembered a few things here and there, but at the rate he was going, it would take him a few years to regain every memory. And that was just of the time he spent on Earth with Dean. He was frustrated.
What was odd about the situation was that as more days went by with him not remembering, he became more frustrated, but Dean became less. He wanted to ask him about it, but he didn’t know if he had the right. Ever since the first night that Dean had slept in the bed with him, they had fallen asleep together every night.
But the four of them had settled into a rhythm. It was a little unconventional, but it was enough for him to feel comfortable enough to walk downstairs and be around them during the day while they talked about hunting and other paranormal things
Castiel was halfway down the stairs when he heard the voices of the two brothers talking.
“Dean, we can’t find anything,” Sam said.
“I figured.”
“What?”
“This isn’t witchcraft. There isn’t a demon strong enough to mess with Cas. There aren’t angels that will touch Cas knowing that he’s favored by God and Michael is back on his side.”
“So, it’s going to be awhile before he gets his memory back.”
“Sounds like it.”
“Are you okay with this?” Sam asked.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You’re married to Castiel. This isn’t really him.”
“Yes, it is.”
“I guess,” Sam said. “But it’ll be different.”
“How? He’s still Cas.”
“Sort of.”
“Sam.
Sam sighed. He really didn’t want to sound like the bad guy, but he had to be honest with his brother. “He didn’t go through everything that you two went through. He doesn’t remember being an angel, the Apocalypse, or dying. He knows next to nothing about our lifestyle.”
“Then I’ll teach him.”
“Dean.”
“He’s my husband. I said that we’d be together no matter what.”
“You don’t know that you said that. And now neither does he.”
“So you think that I could use this as my free pass? Just forget about the whole marriage?” Dean yelled.
“I didn’t say that, Dean.”
“Then what?”
“It took you and Cas four years to get your heads out of your asses and finally acknowledge that you guys have feelings for each other. And when it did happen, you were so drunk that you didn’t even remember it. I just think…”
“Sam,” Dean interrupted when he heard his brother’s voice drop off. “I know that the man upstairs isn’t my Cas. He isn’t Castiel the angel. He doesn’t remember saving me from Hell or dying. He’s not Cas.” Dean sounded sad, and Castiel hated that tone in his voice.
“Cas,” Sam said when he saw him standing in the doorway, much like what happened the first night he was there.
“Hey,” he whispered.
“You heard all of that,” Dean said.
“Dean,” Castiel started, “it’s all right.”
“I don’t know if I’m supposed to apologize to you or something.”
“Why would you need to do that?” Castiel asked.
“Because of what you heard.”
Castiel shook his head. He didn’t want Dean apologizing for being honest. “No. Don’t do that.” His voice became softer the more he spoke. His throat tightened and he could feel his eyes start to water.
“Then why do you look like I just kicked your puppy?”
“I don’t have a puppy.”
“Cas,” Dean said. He looked to his brother who took his cue and left the two of them alone in the kitchen.
“I swear, it’s all right, Dean.”
Dean walked over and reached for Castiel hand, but he moved it away before he could grab onto it. “Hey. What is going on?”
“Nothing.”
“Cas, you’re lying. I know you are.”
Castiel took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. His body shook as he did. “You’re brother’s right,” he said as he took a step away from Dean.
“About what?”
“I’m not Castiel.”
“Yes, you are.”
“I mean, I am Castiel. Just not your Castiel.”
Of all the words he’s ever had thrown back at him, those were the ones Dean’s hated the most. “Cas, what Sam was saying—”
“Was true,” Castiel finished for him. “You don’t have to pretend that you love me.”
“Come on, Cas, I do love you.”
“No, you love the me before I lost my memory.”
“What’s the difference?”
“Everything!” Castiel yelled. “It makes all the difference. The only thing that me and your Castiel have in common is our face. That’s it.”
“That’s not it.”
“Really, then tell me what else we have in common, Dean? Because you will never love me as much as you love Cas.”
“You are Cas. Everything about you is Cas. The way you tilt your head when you don’t know what’s going on. The way you have to fight me every freaking step of the way. How frustrated you both make me feel when I can’t help you. The way I feel about you.”
“Stop it, Dean. Please.”
“Why? You asked me to tell you how I feel about you, so I am. So why don’t you want to hear it?” Dean pleaded. “What’s wrong with how I feel about you?” He reached out and grabbed Castiel’s hands. “Cas, I love you. I’ll figure this out. But if I don’t, I’ll love you regardless. Just let me…” his voice trailed off. He squeezed Castiel’s hands once then let them go. He walked back over to the kitchen table and sat down. He flipped through the pages of the open book again.
Castiel’s hand went to rub the bridge of his nose. He felt a shooting pain behind his eyes and closed them, the kitchen somehow became too bright for him to handle. The room started disappearing around him.
Then he saw the flashes.
Him pulling Dean out of Hell.
Sitting at Dean’s bedside when he was at the hospital.
Dying for Dean at Chuck’s house.
Coming back.
Traveling to the past.
The sigil on his chest.
Dying by Lucifer’s hand.
Coming back again, stronger than ever.
Defeating Amon and Asmodeus.
Michael defending him against the other angels.
Following Dean to Vegas.
Standing next to Dean in a Vegas chapel.
A kahuna.
He found himself standing in the middle of the scene. Dean was looking into his eyes, his hands on his cheeks making sure that he couldn’t look away. Dean licked his lips before he started to speak.
“I’m Dean. I have my own vows. They weren’t written before or anything, but I’m pretty sure they’ve been in my head for a long time.” He turned to face the angel. “Cas. Castiel. I love you. And I’m drunk. You pulled me from Hell. I treated you like crap, and you still kept coming back. You stayed by my side when I was hurt. You chose me over your family. Then I thought you were gone, but you came back. You are blindly loyal, but it’s to me so it’s okay. You stayed by my side through everything. Good, bad. Sickness, health. Definitely poor. My rare chick-flick moments. My anger. You’ve never let me down. You were my first best friend.” He grabbed Castiel’s hands and squeezed them once. “Let me be there for you as often as you’ve been there for me. I love you. I want to be with you. And I know I’m drunk and slurring everything, but I mean every word coming out of my mouth.”
Castiel blinked a few times and found himself standing in the doorway of Bobby’s kitchen again. “Dean?” Castiel whispered.
Dean looked up from the book he was reading. “What’s up, Cas?”
“I…”
Dean watched as his eyes rolled back into his head and he fell backward. “Cas?” he yelled, shooting up from his seat and running toward his husband. He wasn’t fast enough to stop him from hitting the ground. He winced at the sound it made. “Hey… hey,” he said quickly, gathering him into his arms. He pat his cheek a couple of times trying to rouse him.
After a couple of minutes, Castiel finally started to move. “Dean?”
“Hey, you all right?”
“Yeah. I… Everything. I remember.”
“What? How?”
“I… I don’t know. I just…” He brought a hand up and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
“Don’t worry about that right now.”
“I—”
He maneuvered the two of them around to get Castiel in a sitting position. “You’re going to get some sleep or something. Your head must be pounding.”
“Only because you didn’t catch me.”
“Yeah. But besides that, you’re okay, right?”
“I remember you. Is that enough?”
“Yeah. It is. Let’s get you upstairs.” He helped Castiel to get to his feet. He grabbed his arm and was about to put it over his shoulders when he felt Castiel fight him.
“I can walk on my own, Dean.”
“Right,” he said. He stopped himself from putting Castiel’s arm over him, but he still held on to his husband. “I just—”
“Thank you for taking care of me. Can we go upstairs now?”
“Yeah. Yeah let’s do that.” Castiel took a step toward the doorway, but Dean stopped him. “Just zap us there.”
Castiel wanted to say something about Dean wanting to fly even though he hated it so much, but he only smiled and nodded. He put two fingers to Dean’s forehead and transported the both of them upstairs to their bedroom.
Dean walked Castiel over to the bed and made him take a seat. He grabbed Castiel’s shirt and lifted it up. “The bruising is gone.”
“I remembered how to heal,” Castiel replied.
“Good,” Dean sighed. He began to pace in front of Castiel.
“Dean, sit down,” Castiel said.
Dean sat down next to his husband. He bounced his knee up and down, a lot still on his mind. “Okay, first my ring, now your memory.”
“Dean, calm down. My memory loss may not have anything to do with your ring. I was injured.”
“What is going on, Cas?” As much as he wanted to believe that the two incidents weren’t related, something in his gut told him that they were.
“I don’t know. I wish I did, but I don’t.”
“You can’t ask around?” Dean sighed. He was tired of all the crap and he really wanted to just live as normally ever after with his husband.
“I haven’t really talked to my brothers about my marriage to you. But I can go do that now.” He tried to stand up, but Dean stopped him before he could.
“No. Not now.”
“Dean?” he asked, looking up. He thought that Dean wanted him to find out what was going and as soon as he could.
“I have my husband back. I mean, with his memories and everything.” He took a seat on the bed. “Do you know anything that could be powerful enough to take your powers away?”
“Another angel. But they haven’t tried anything. And they wouldn’t.”
“How do you know?”
“Dean, I’ve been brought back many times,” Castiel said with a smile.
Dean let out a short laugh. “True.”
“The angels wouldn’t try anything without Father’s consent. At least, I wouldn’t think so.”
“Have you even seen Him yet?” Dean asked.
“No,” Castiel said with a shake of the head.
“So, he could have okayed this whole thing?”
“Maybe.”
Dean maneuvered to lay his head on his pillows and he waited for Castiel to do the same. “I feel like we’re being tested, Cas.” He tugged on Castiel’s wrist and Castiel moved to lie down on his shoulder and wrapped his arm around him. “I hate taking tests.”
“I think we’re passing so far,” Castiel mumbled.
Dean ran his hand up and down Castiel’s side. “I think so too,” he whispered. He pressed his lips into Castiel’s hair.
“If they keep testing us, and we keep passing, they’ll have to leave us alone.”
“You give my patience a lot of credit,” Dean said with a laugh.
“I have to sometimes.”
Dean pulled Castiel in close by his waist. “I’m glad you have your memory back.”
“Me too.”
Dean rolled the both of them over, putting Castiel under him. He placed a soft kiss on his husband’s lips, pulling away when Castiel leaned into it. “I can’t believe you forgot me,” he said with a pout.
“I didn’t forget just you, Dean. I forgot everything.”
“Yeah. But I have to take it a little offensively if you forgot me.”
“I’d never forget you, Dean. Not on my own accord.”
“I know.”
“I love you, Dean,” he said. He raised a hand up and ran his fingers through his husband’s hair.
“I love you too, Cas,” he whispered.
“We’ll figure this out, Dean.”
“I know, Cas,” Dean said. “We can’t do anything about it right now, can we?”
“Not right now.”
“And I have gone two weeks without sex.”
“So have I.”
“So until we actually have a lead.”
Castiel snapped his fingers and the two men were left naked on the bed. “Until then.”
Author: DauntPerplexity
Rating: PG 13
Genre: Romance, amnesia
Characters and/or Pairing: Bobby, Sam, Dean/Castiel
Spoilers: Pretty much anything up to the most recent episode.
Warnings: kissing, nudity, mentions of sex
Word Count: This part – 2196; Total - ~ 12246
Summary: “I’m not supposed to be okay surrounded by a couple of strangers.”
Author’s Note: Fifth in my Vegas!Verse. This comes after Send Out an SOS. This is the second sign of something they have to work through in their marriage. The long italic parts are flashback scenes.
Part 1 Part 2 Part 3
Castiel had officially been memory-less for two weeks. Sure, he remembered a few things here and there, but at the rate he was going, it would take him a few years to regain every memory. And that was just of the time he spent on Earth with Dean. He was frustrated.
What was odd about the situation was that as more days went by with him not remembering, he became more frustrated, but Dean became less. He wanted to ask him about it, but he didn’t know if he had the right. Ever since the first night that Dean had slept in the bed with him, they had fallen asleep together every night.
But the four of them had settled into a rhythm. It was a little unconventional, but it was enough for him to feel comfortable enough to walk downstairs and be around them during the day while they talked about hunting and other paranormal things
Castiel was halfway down the stairs when he heard the voices of the two brothers talking.
“Dean, we can’t find anything,” Sam said.
“I figured.”
“What?”
“This isn’t witchcraft. There isn’t a demon strong enough to mess with Cas. There aren’t angels that will touch Cas knowing that he’s favored by God and Michael is back on his side.”
“So, it’s going to be awhile before he gets his memory back.”
“Sounds like it.”
“Are you okay with this?” Sam asked.
“Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You’re married to Castiel. This isn’t really him.”
“Yes, it is.”
“I guess,” Sam said. “But it’ll be different.”
“How? He’s still Cas.”
“Sort of.”
“Sam.
Sam sighed. He really didn’t want to sound like the bad guy, but he had to be honest with his brother. “He didn’t go through everything that you two went through. He doesn’t remember being an angel, the Apocalypse, or dying. He knows next to nothing about our lifestyle.”
“Then I’ll teach him.”
“Dean.”
“He’s my husband. I said that we’d be together no matter what.”
“You don’t know that you said that. And now neither does he.”
“So you think that I could use this as my free pass? Just forget about the whole marriage?” Dean yelled.
“I didn’t say that, Dean.”
“Then what?”
“It took you and Cas four years to get your heads out of your asses and finally acknowledge that you guys have feelings for each other. And when it did happen, you were so drunk that you didn’t even remember it. I just think…”
“Sam,” Dean interrupted when he heard his brother’s voice drop off. “I know that the man upstairs isn’t my Cas. He isn’t Castiel the angel. He doesn’t remember saving me from Hell or dying. He’s not Cas.” Dean sounded sad, and Castiel hated that tone in his voice.
“Cas,” Sam said when he saw him standing in the doorway, much like what happened the first night he was there.
“Hey,” he whispered.
“You heard all of that,” Dean said.
“Dean,” Castiel started, “it’s all right.”
“I don’t know if I’m supposed to apologize to you or something.”
“Why would you need to do that?” Castiel asked.
“Because of what you heard.”
Castiel shook his head. He didn’t want Dean apologizing for being honest. “No. Don’t do that.” His voice became softer the more he spoke. His throat tightened and he could feel his eyes start to water.
“Then why do you look like I just kicked your puppy?”
“I don’t have a puppy.”
“Cas,” Dean said. He looked to his brother who took his cue and left the two of them alone in the kitchen.
“I swear, it’s all right, Dean.”
Dean walked over and reached for Castiel hand, but he moved it away before he could grab onto it. “Hey. What is going on?”
“Nothing.”
“Cas, you’re lying. I know you are.”
Castiel took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. His body shook as he did. “You’re brother’s right,” he said as he took a step away from Dean.
“About what?”
“I’m not Castiel.”
“Yes, you are.”
“I mean, I am Castiel. Just not your Castiel.”
Of all the words he’s ever had thrown back at him, those were the ones Dean’s hated the most. “Cas, what Sam was saying—”
“Was true,” Castiel finished for him. “You don’t have to pretend that you love me.”
“Come on, Cas, I do love you.”
“No, you love the me before I lost my memory.”
“What’s the difference?”
“Everything!” Castiel yelled. “It makes all the difference. The only thing that me and your Castiel have in common is our face. That’s it.”
“That’s not it.”
“Really, then tell me what else we have in common, Dean? Because you will never love me as much as you love Cas.”
“You are Cas. Everything about you is Cas. The way you tilt your head when you don’t know what’s going on. The way you have to fight me every freaking step of the way. How frustrated you both make me feel when I can’t help you. The way I feel about you.”
“Stop it, Dean. Please.”
“Why? You asked me to tell you how I feel about you, so I am. So why don’t you want to hear it?” Dean pleaded. “What’s wrong with how I feel about you?” He reached out and grabbed Castiel’s hands. “Cas, I love you. I’ll figure this out. But if I don’t, I’ll love you regardless. Just let me…” his voice trailed off. He squeezed Castiel’s hands once then let them go. He walked back over to the kitchen table and sat down. He flipped through the pages of the open book again.
Castiel’s hand went to rub the bridge of his nose. He felt a shooting pain behind his eyes and closed them, the kitchen somehow became too bright for him to handle. The room started disappearing around him.
Then he saw the flashes.
Him pulling Dean out of Hell.
Sitting at Dean’s bedside when he was at the hospital.
Dying for Dean at Chuck’s house.
Coming back.
Traveling to the past.
The sigil on his chest.
Dying by Lucifer’s hand.
Coming back again, stronger than ever.
Defeating Amon and Asmodeus.
Michael defending him against the other angels.
Following Dean to Vegas.
Standing next to Dean in a Vegas chapel.
A kahuna.
He found himself standing in the middle of the scene. Dean was looking into his eyes, his hands on his cheeks making sure that he couldn’t look away. Dean licked his lips before he started to speak.
“I’m Dean. I have my own vows. They weren’t written before or anything, but I’m pretty sure they’ve been in my head for a long time.” He turned to face the angel. “Cas. Castiel. I love you. And I’m drunk. You pulled me from Hell. I treated you like crap, and you still kept coming back. You stayed by my side when I was hurt. You chose me over your family. Then I thought you were gone, but you came back. You are blindly loyal, but it’s to me so it’s okay. You stayed by my side through everything. Good, bad. Sickness, health. Definitely poor. My rare chick-flick moments. My anger. You’ve never let me down. You were my first best friend.” He grabbed Castiel’s hands and squeezed them once. “Let me be there for you as often as you’ve been there for me. I love you. I want to be with you. And I know I’m drunk and slurring everything, but I mean every word coming out of my mouth.”
Castiel blinked a few times and found himself standing in the doorway of Bobby’s kitchen again. “Dean?” Castiel whispered.
Dean looked up from the book he was reading. “What’s up, Cas?”
“I…”
Dean watched as his eyes rolled back into his head and he fell backward. “Cas?” he yelled, shooting up from his seat and running toward his husband. He wasn’t fast enough to stop him from hitting the ground. He winced at the sound it made. “Hey… hey,” he said quickly, gathering him into his arms. He pat his cheek a couple of times trying to rouse him.
After a couple of minutes, Castiel finally started to move. “Dean?”
“Hey, you all right?”
“Yeah. I… Everything. I remember.”
“What? How?”
“I… I don’t know. I just…” He brought a hand up and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
“Don’t worry about that right now.”
“I—”
He maneuvered the two of them around to get Castiel in a sitting position. “You’re going to get some sleep or something. Your head must be pounding.”
“Only because you didn’t catch me.”
“Yeah. But besides that, you’re okay, right?”
“I remember you. Is that enough?”
“Yeah. It is. Let’s get you upstairs.” He helped Castiel to get to his feet. He grabbed his arm and was about to put it over his shoulders when he felt Castiel fight him.
“I can walk on my own, Dean.”
“Right,” he said. He stopped himself from putting Castiel’s arm over him, but he still held on to his husband. “I just—”
“Thank you for taking care of me. Can we go upstairs now?”
“Yeah. Yeah let’s do that.” Castiel took a step toward the doorway, but Dean stopped him. “Just zap us there.”
Castiel wanted to say something about Dean wanting to fly even though he hated it so much, but he only smiled and nodded. He put two fingers to Dean’s forehead and transported the both of them upstairs to their bedroom.
Dean walked Castiel over to the bed and made him take a seat. He grabbed Castiel’s shirt and lifted it up. “The bruising is gone.”
“I remembered how to heal,” Castiel replied.
“Good,” Dean sighed. He began to pace in front of Castiel.
“Dean, sit down,” Castiel said.
Dean sat down next to his husband. He bounced his knee up and down, a lot still on his mind. “Okay, first my ring, now your memory.”
“Dean, calm down. My memory loss may not have anything to do with your ring. I was injured.”
“What is going on, Cas?” As much as he wanted to believe that the two incidents weren’t related, something in his gut told him that they were.
“I don’t know. I wish I did, but I don’t.”
“You can’t ask around?” Dean sighed. He was tired of all the crap and he really wanted to just live as normally ever after with his husband.
“I haven’t really talked to my brothers about my marriage to you. But I can go do that now.” He tried to stand up, but Dean stopped him before he could.
“No. Not now.”
“Dean?” he asked, looking up. He thought that Dean wanted him to find out what was going and as soon as he could.
“I have my husband back. I mean, with his memories and everything.” He took a seat on the bed. “Do you know anything that could be powerful enough to take your powers away?”
“Another angel. But they haven’t tried anything. And they wouldn’t.”
“How do you know?”
“Dean, I’ve been brought back many times,” Castiel said with a smile.
Dean let out a short laugh. “True.”
“The angels wouldn’t try anything without Father’s consent. At least, I wouldn’t think so.”
“Have you even seen Him yet?” Dean asked.
“No,” Castiel said with a shake of the head.
“So, he could have okayed this whole thing?”
“Maybe.”
Dean maneuvered to lay his head on his pillows and he waited for Castiel to do the same. “I feel like we’re being tested, Cas.” He tugged on Castiel’s wrist and Castiel moved to lie down on his shoulder and wrapped his arm around him. “I hate taking tests.”
“I think we’re passing so far,” Castiel mumbled.
Dean ran his hand up and down Castiel’s side. “I think so too,” he whispered. He pressed his lips into Castiel’s hair.
“If they keep testing us, and we keep passing, they’ll have to leave us alone.”
“You give my patience a lot of credit,” Dean said with a laugh.
“I have to sometimes.”
Dean pulled Castiel in close by his waist. “I’m glad you have your memory back.”
“Me too.”
Dean rolled the both of them over, putting Castiel under him. He placed a soft kiss on his husband’s lips, pulling away when Castiel leaned into it. “I can’t believe you forgot me,” he said with a pout.
“I didn’t forget just you, Dean. I forgot everything.”
“Yeah. But I have to take it a little offensively if you forgot me.”
“I’d never forget you, Dean. Not on my own accord.”
“I know.”
“I love you, Dean,” he said. He raised a hand up and ran his fingers through his husband’s hair.
“I love you too, Cas,” he whispered.
“We’ll figure this out, Dean.”
“I know, Cas,” Dean said. “We can’t do anything about it right now, can we?”
“Not right now.”
“And I have gone two weeks without sex.”
“So have I.”
“So until we actually have a lead.”
Castiel snapped his fingers and the two men were left naked on the bed. “Until then.”